Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

FML for mobile
Free

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 1 868

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 637 031

You deserved it 799 200

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 904

You deserved it 8 708

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 201

You deserved it 10 866

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 049

You deserved it 644

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 607

You deserved it 9 949

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 358

You deserved it 3 190

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 020

You deserved it 45 651

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 680

You deserved it 89 298

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 837

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 857

You deserved it 13 058

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

schloop 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:45

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAH sucks to be you

DiSab 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:49

Well that sucks. Hard.

you_WOULD 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:50

I think you were totally asking for it. You shouldn't be having random sex, much less without a condom. If you were worried about getting her pregnant than you should have not had sex with her or at least worn a condom. As for your comment "I couldn't pull out in time"...Are you stupid? Not being able to pull out in time doesn't matter because "Pulling out" is NOT a real method of birth control. You may think that it will prevent you from getting someone pregnant but the reality is that some sperm is released before you ejaculate which defeats the whole purpose of pulling out...

Apples58 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:51

You know you can still get her pregnant even if you do pull out right?

omgfuckmylife 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:56

AHAHAHAH THATS ****** AWESOME. sorry

joyride 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:58

A) You could still get her pregnant regardless if you "pulled out in time" B) She's ******* crazy, ahaha.

mastershake 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:03

clear wrap??!!! hahahahaahha there is no way you're serious! OowWwWWwww

_Elizabeth_ 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:15

1. You could still have gotten her pregnant. 2. She's ******* bonkers. 3. Don't get drunk and have sex. 4. You are dumb.

jdpwnsyou 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:22

#149 is wrong, the precum contains a few sperm, but much more are released with ejaculation. Still, that's pretty ****** up, although it's what you get for having sex with a girl you hardly know. Get some standards for yourself.

panthersprite 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:24

Just so you people know, you can still get STD's and still get pregnant even if you use a condom. Actually most people either put on condoms wrong, or do stupid things like keep them in their wallet which they keep in their back pockets or other areas where it could be heated which increases the chances of it tearing or bursting.