Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 840

You deserved it 798 618

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 867

You deserved it 8 699

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 003

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 580

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 314

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 239

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 776

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 819

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

jm88 0

Monday 15 June 2009 19:52

Actually, assuming you do not cum in her, pulling out is like 95% effective.

wowfmlife 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:17

#891 is right OP-if you guys were drunk and didn't know each other, she won't be able to contact you if she's pregnant

ksweat 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:20

so are you yet?

4ube_fml 6

Monday 15 June 2009 21:00

That is why you NEVER EVER DRINK. What is the ******* point ? can't you keep it at coke and root beer ? WHY do humanity, everywhere they go, creates a way to make alcohol ?

orangeworx 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:33

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you so deserve that one... Daddy!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Alwaysthelast 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:29

Actualy there is always some sperm taht is released before the actual ejacualtion, enough to get a woamn pregnant. And there is a 8 day window for pregnancy, sperm an live int he female body for a full 24hours, and the released ovary it stays able to be fertalised for around 7 days.

rawr_babe 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:32

the illustration is really funny. haha. sucks for you. guess you learned not to have sex while being drunk, and not having any condoms.

Miksch_b 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:48

I had that happen to one of my friends...fyi he is a baby daddy now hahaha. I mean it's not funny but it just sucks that it happened to someone else.

jagerwiser 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:00

omfg!!!!! how much did you give that woman to drink? pray that she was on birth control and that she was also clean,see a doctor and a priest stat!!! Pray my friend pray till your knees hurt!