Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 808

Back to school: Courses and confusion
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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 840

You deserved it 798 618

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 867

You deserved it 8 699

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 10 858

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 003

You deserved it 637

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 580

You deserved it 9 940

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 314

You deserved it 3 182

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 45 617

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 89 239

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 776

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 819

You deserved it 13 042

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

myfishisBOBA 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 6:47

Feed her PLAN B! Then go get tested. Pulling out DOES work (i dont have babies) But you have to be VERYcareful... there are also spermicidal films that work (i have no babies). But... sex with a girl you don't know? YDI because 1) disease 2) if she's crazy or not (apparently she is)

KaylaRene 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 7:31

#19 FTW

xKattAttack 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 7:56

This illustration makes it seems like the only thing wrong with getting a random girl pregnant is the fact that she's ugly.

jmeg_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 8:36

Yeah... I personally feel like the illustration detracts from the real humor of this FML. (Actually, the artist drew a first version of this illustration which is a bit funnier, in my opinion, but really has nothing to do with the FML: http://welations.com/sites/default/files/pictures/fmlcomic/fmlcomic.jpg)

CyclonePsycho 1

Wednesday 17 June 2009 4:16

Am I the only one who can't see it? =

TBman256 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 8:49

what's with all these people saying that pulling out doesn't work? why doesn't it work?

aznshorty 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 10:45

Pulling out is actually considered a form of birth control (it's on the planned parenthood website), as long as the guy can control it enough to completely pull out. http://www.statenews.com/index.php/article/2009/06/got_protection_study_finds_pulling_out_effective There's the study for it. It's not as effective as other methods, but it CAN work...

gmaeboy00 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 12:36

THAT MUS SUCK ASS MUSTLY BECAYSE YOU DONT KNOW HER

zakuza 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 14:52

LMFAO! **** that was hilarious

babygirl481p 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:26

Today, I got a brand new phone, i had too because my other phone kept shutting off on me everytime i opened it. The second i walked out of the store i droped my phone and it got run over my a car. Fml

rayrayy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:47

I've read this one so many times, amongst many others, and it stills remains my absolutely favorite FML. AHAHAHA. "Be my baby's daddy!" Oh God, my bf and I say that to each other all the time now, thanks to you. :]