Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 922

You deserved it 798 795

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 876

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 179

You deserved it 10 863

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 627

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 795

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

ohitsali 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:49

FYLFYLFYLFYLFYL.

desertkitt 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 0:50

wow 574. Women can get pregnant only two days out of the month? What drugs have you trippin that hard? Some women who have sex on their period can get pregnant. Sperm can live inside of the ****** for up to two days. That's why after sex some women have a "mess" to clean up fr a while. Two days outta the month. FYL for being so gullible as to believe the drunk ugly woman who told you that when you were in the OPs circumstance.

zumiskater 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:20

lol thats ******

mcrmy195 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:10

LMFAO! that realy sucks so is she pregnant?

itsjustb03 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:18

WOW. GETTiNG HER PREGO iS THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS. YOU SHOULD GO GET CHECKED BRUH....

twizztheshizz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 3:40

That's a dick move! You should ask for a background check next time.

OMIGODNOWAI 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 3:57

you honestly deserved that one.

ManiacsRose 10

Tuesday 16 June 2009 4:20

I think you deserved that one, because of the whole pulling out thing...BUT the fact that she grabbed you and screamed "BE MY DADDYS BABY" is a kind of FML thing..and that's all her. So I voted for both.. The FML: She doesn't know you...and you BOTH agreed not to wear a condom. She probably said something like "ooh pulling out does work, all the time. " I mean you were drunk and all...and she screamed The daddy's baby bit. The YDI: Use a condom...or stop having sex.

Carla_E 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:29

LMFAO!!! That sucks sooo badly!!!

starbucks14 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:49

First of all drunken sex with a stranger, smart move. Not having a condom on you, another smart move. Thinking that the pull out method actually works, priceless.