Miscellaneous: Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap...

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By Swabidizop - 18/05/2015 20:40 - United States - Greeley

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 056

You deserved it 8 058

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Same thing different taste

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 600

You deserved it 4 014

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 000

You deserved it 8 461

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 811

You deserved it 36 013

By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 1 992

By nightmare ass - 15/05/2019 06:11

Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 422

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 658

You deserved it 1 033

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 308

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 4 547

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 686

You deserved it 9 395

By Noname - 02/02/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 824

You deserved it 7 064

hafyyyy 17

Tuesday 19 May 2015 14:01

i guess he isnt sleeping when youre around anymore.

Cass_x 22

Tuesday 19 May 2015 14:06

Aww poor dog. You woke him.

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 19 May 2015 16:23

Was that off the scale of silent but deadly?

luststarrr 22

Tuesday 19 May 2015 17:08

He was probably making sure you didn't try to blame it on him.

mads_nicole 19

Tuesday 19 May 2015 18:25

I honestly laughed out loud at this

sky28guy 5

Tuesday 19 May 2015 19:11

Why doesn't this have more YDI's? This is hilarious

chronicB 19

Tuesday 19 May 2015 20:11

my dog used to give the most rancid darts... I never bit her

lostinareverie 21

Tuesday 19 May 2015 22:18

Maybe he was mad you out gassed him.

BananaCoconutty 26

Tuesday 19 May 2015 22:43

When ever I fart near my dog she runs away barking

samlovesham1234 9

Tuesday 19 May 2015 22:44

The dog probably thought you were gonna blame him.

kavyashahs 16

Tuesday 19 May 2015 23:10

So sad

fpants2010 18

Tuesday 19 May 2015 23:29

Lol. I had one like that a couple of weeks ago - my son started crying and ran away from me. Ah, farts :)

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Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 934

You deserved it 5 570

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 510

You deserved it 2 922

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Today, with my girlfriend I planned a trip to Bali on this Thursday and we will celebrate Christmas together. Hotel booking done, flight tickets bought, swimsuits packed. I just forgot one thing: tell my boss I'll be on leave till next week. He gave me a new project. The deadline is next Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 547

You deserved it 38 854

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 288

You deserved it 6 944

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 519

You deserved it 7 728

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 786

You deserved it 51 176

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 225

You deserved it 3 230

Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 270

You deserved it 63 932

Same thing different taste

Alarm

Bad boy

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