Love: Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2...

By tripb101 - 22/04/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 047

You deserved it 6 094

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 00:02

Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 179

By S. Fancyson - 16/04/2013 23:23 - United States

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 453

You deserved it 9 637

By anonymous - 21/02/2010 15:16 - United States

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 856

You deserved it 45 266

By nkotz - 14/01/2013 18:34 - United States

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 7 297

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 05/07/2013 16:13 - Netherlands

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 500

You deserved it 9 241

Having fun over there?

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 00:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 307

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 4 734

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 687

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 705

You deserved it 5 226

powerade 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:15

I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?

hydronium 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:09

Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.

Comments

wonnybot73 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 8:22

i'd beat her ass

nottootoxic 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:04

Here, I'm going to write this over for you with proper English: "Today I discovered I absolutely suck in bed and I've failed my wife as a sexual partner. FML."

ohreally123 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:22

Also, be supportive of her as a wife. Do something nice around the house or take her out to dinner or compliment her. Just because she's not wanting to have sex doesn't mean she's cheating on you, it might just mean she's got something on her mind or wants to see that you like having her around for more than just a quick boning. Tell her and show her you love her, sex or no sex. She's your wife, don't let her drift away.

Tehalon 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:39

Sounds like your wife is cheating on you.

judgeymcjudge 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 11:18

Dude, I can't believe you're counting when it's only been two weeks. Two weeks, man. Chill the **** out! So she didn't wanna get down with you, but had no problem using the treadmill? And you think there's some comparison? Pfft. Sex is a lot more effort than a simple run on the 'mill. It requires a certain level of enthusiasm and if you're not in the mood (and your partner doesn't even try to get you there, and just makes semi-sutble/suggestive comments) then you're just NOT IN THE MOOD. It doesn't mean she's cheating, or that you should cheat, or that you need marriage counselling, or any other god damn idiotic suggestion that's been posted here. Jesus Christ. It's 14 sex free days. Dramatic much?? FYL for being a married man who not only LITERALLY counts the days from his last lay, but "hints" at sex rather than actually trying to get his woman in the mood. FYL indeed.

Nadramia 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 11:30

no big deal... sometimes i dont want to have sex with my BF just because Im just not feeling it or well... no..no it just that im not in the mood.... and it not because he isnt good in bed... which He realllyy is... its just im not up for sex....

humpty_dumpty_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 11:34

/useforcedivorce XD

Atropos_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:44

Since when does a woman not wanting to have sex instantly mean she's cheating?

jillz 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:05

2 weeks. Oh my! However will you go on living? See this is the problem with most men. Please realize that she has every right to simply not want sex and that it doesn't always have to be about you. Sex is not needed for a good relationship. Your love won't die if you don't get to use her to relieve yourself. Please just forget your penis exists, when you're not urinating.

Dhamy 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:11

I agree with #3 And also, your wife is a bitch. Did you mention that to her 'honey, you went on the treadmill when you were 'too tired' to have sex'..."