Health and Animals: Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out... - FML

By Ear Invasion - 26/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 374

You deserved it 3 455

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Same thing different taste

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 554

You deserved it 12 049

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 461

You deserved it 2 650

Waxing and waning

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 5 351

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 026

You deserved it 2 643

By Xandriajoy10 - 08/03/2016 11:56 - Australia

Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 626

You deserved it 1 577

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 20:30

Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 933

You deserved it 299

By John - 26/03/2012 02:53 - Saint Lucia

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 684

You deserved it 3 033

By caempa - 29/12/2010 18:13 - Australia

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 850

You deserved it 13 645

Cool

By daisythebunny1988 - 21/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 223

Next

Top comments

Codezlol 21

Saturday 26 January 2013 12:14

Did you name him Jiminy??

isallwaysme 27

Saturday 26 January 2013 12:13

that little bugger

Comments

lowshadows 21

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:23

just let your conscious be your guide.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:41

I have a bet whether it was a common field cricket or a snowy tree cricket? (there's a comic book riding on this.) Does anyone know professor (creepy) Crawley's phone #.

bethelise 8

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:48

nasty

EmberFury 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:15

♪You've got a friend in me...♪

yannabanah 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 16:38

Toy story? Really.

EmberFury 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 17:55

Yeah, I guess I'm alone on this one. Ah well.

perdix 29

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:25

So, when you tell your new friend a really great joke, do you just get crickets?

love_isnt_enough 15

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:36

Still a better love story than Twilight.

SpikeyKitten 5

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:46

I've a a beetle pulled outta my ear!! Everyone in the hospital watched.. Now they call me buggy!

iloveandy143 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:50

It was still alive?!

countrygal500 1

Saturday 26 January 2013 16:20

well...on the bright side you have a new friend?

beacbum7 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 16:28

WORKAHOLICS!!

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Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

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CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 11

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Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 635

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 920

You deserved it 469

Today, my family and I are spending the weekend with my in-laws, and their disrespectful, disobedient asshole of a dog. He does whatever he wants, and if I scold him, my mother-in-law in turn scolds me, then tells me how something one of us did is to blame for the dog's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 302

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 961

You deserved it 1 009

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 897

You deserved it 4 521

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 327

You deserved it 7 208