Work: Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my... - FML

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 760

You deserved it 71 092

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Same thing different taste

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 153

You deserved it 18 520

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 411

You deserved it 6 445

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 630

You deserved it 3 144

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 180

You deserved it 2 799

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 708

You deserved it 1 317

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 195

You deserved it 8 671

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 913

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 502

You deserved it 3 688

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 040

You deserved it 2 547

Take it up with HR

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 581

Next

Top comments

panny10112326 1

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:53

Why even bother putting FML if you totally deserved it?? Drugs= baaaaad shit.

The_Hitdude 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:54

Yeah... Paying the same friend you rip a bong with to pass a drug test for you isn't a good idea. Must've been high when you agreed to that.

Comments

Mkbitch 2

Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:22

You totally deserve it Genius!

cuddlebunny3548 11

Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:33

I bet they took that money and bought more weed lol

Three4Ten 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:43

Sarcasm..

jayemarie27 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:52

Your a idiot point blank period

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:20

I can't tell if there's more irony in the "your an idiot" or in the fact that you ended this comment with the word "period", yet you omitted the actual period.

fatcow282 8

Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:54

This is carma in and enteteining way

itooamscrewed 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:25

You deserve it, not for doing drugs (because whatever, it's your life), but because you were stupid enough to pay for someone's urine when you didn't know 100% they were clean. Also, it's not that hard to beat a piss test.

muzy 23

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:43

36- well played sir.

bigdurrdy 4

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:53

Dumbass.

iloveyouandmusic 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:55

Simple solution. Don't do drugs. :)

babygirl83150 8

Tuesday 24 April 2012 23:17

Some one's too stupid to do drugs!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 687

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You deserved it 16 475

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I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 157

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I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 2 518

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I agree, your life sucks 39 853

You deserved it 17 738