Miscellaneous: Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 894

You deserved it 46 644

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By FML - 30/08/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 292

You deserved it 58 969

XXL

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 23:01

Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 282

By Voltron - 11/01/2012 00:37 - United States

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 782

You deserved it 37 618

By Fluffyman - 10/08/2019 04:00

Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 309

Poor excuse

By worstwaytodumpagirl - 28/12/2013 22:34 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 025

You deserved it 3 564

Appropriate attire required

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was feeling good about it, until I realized that I'd forgotten my workout clothes and was wearing jeans. As I attempted to do squats in my tight jeans, I split them down the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 998

By Fatty Fatty Fatso - 05/05/2013 00:41 - United States - Somers

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 638

You deserved it 39 100

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 07/10/2009 01:11 - Canada

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 419

You deserved it 6 811

Forgetting something?

By Julez - 14/01/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 316

You deserved it 13 691

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 906

You deserved it 40 664

Next

Top comments

kels_bets21 0

Monday 29 June 2009 23:24

what do you usually wear then ? because you don't just gain enough weight to fit nothing overnight.

yep_me_again 0

Monday 29 June 2009 23:41

I gained 80 lbs over college....you know what helped me lose the weight? Exercise and not being online whining about my weight and reading fml. Unless you have a thyroid problem, or another medical condition, ydi!

Comments

hotstuff81 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 0:45

Hey fatass heres a new thing that was just invented the GYM and stop eating McDonalds for lunch every day of the year. #30 thats her fault shes a lazy dumbass. So many ways 2 fix that problem.

MIKENYC 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 0:49

More ass 2 ****

Impact009 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 0:57

I'm going to point out the other possible connotation that #1 might not have meant diet by your definition, but that the OP should watch her diet. What a person consumes is very important to his or her health.

soccerboy101 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:03

This isn't even an FML. You'll live with a few extra pounds

KevinC69 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:04

porkey

notapplicable123 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:13

ahahaha ydi No time to exercise? Too expensive to eat healthy? Try anorexia.

kira1kira 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:16

oh how I love the holidays. ..... what'd I just say? j/k

genius_girl16 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:36

oh how I love the holidays.

Some___Guy 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:18

I tried working out - typing on FML - but it didn't help.

taskemus 10

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:20

Why is everyone assuming the OP's even fat? I'm very underweight, and I have fat jeans (and would really hate for this to happen to me). Good luck losing the weight! :D

scorpiogirl666 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 1:23

hahaha that's what i was thinking

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Embarrassing Work Accident Health Relatable Love LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate AITA My ex Relationship advice Animals Cute Cats Friends Transportation Awkward Cars Dogs Money Scams Miscellaneous Kids Family Drugs Public freakouts Cheating Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, I introduced this website to my boyfriend. We laughed at a guy who screamed his sister's name during sex. Guess what he thought would be funny to do when I was seconds from coming? FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 165

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 58

The Top

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 565

You deserved it 3 171

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 688

You deserved it 4 876

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 237

You deserved it 4 255

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 254

You deserved it 75 625

Today, while clearing out my kitchen, I discovered a Tupperware container that'd been forgotten for so long it'd developed its own ecosystem. When I opened it, a funky smell engulfed the kitchen, and I realized I had unintentionally created a new form of life. I promptly closed the container, then put it in the freezer in the hope of killing whatever it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 588

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 296

You deserved it 8 051