Love: Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while...

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 947

You deserved it 8 308

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By woahlaura - 14/02/2016 16:26 - United States - Houston

Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 758

You deserved it 3 387

Very helpful, dude

By anon - 14/06/2021 08:01

Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 222

Great, I guess

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 07:24 - Canada - Milton

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 460

You deserved it 8 002

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 208

You deserved it 4 344

By hungry - 15/08/2016 03:03 - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 020

You deserved it 2 217

Off script

By Going hungry - 28/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 170

Parenting gone feral

By hungry - 22/10/2019 04:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 298

By Alisha Marie - 04/08/2010 04:20 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 898

You deserved it 9 041

By depressedpreggo - 18/11/2012 11:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 385

By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 103

You deserved it 3 952

krysxkatastrophe 14

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:05

Ice cream is awesome! I'm lactose intolerant too, but I don't care when it comes to that!

knights95 9

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:09

But they have cheese in them. Fail.

Comments

KataraTheBender 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 17:02

What a selfish basterd you'd be better off without him.

stupidloginname 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 17:13

that's why you never send a man to do a woman's job lol

photoshopfailure 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 18:08

at least you have hot pockets :3

heb47 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 18:53

at least you have the hotpockets

TheIllusionist 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:22

can you still have hot pockets?

t_fml 11

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:24

AT LEASTT U GOT YUMMMMMYYY HOT POCKETS RIGHTT??? I MEAN IFF U DONTT EAT THEMM I WILL I LIKE ON 21 GAY STREET NASHVILLE TENNESSEE;)

spidergirl0408 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:26

well at least u can eat the hot pockets...

Max1468 4

Wednesday 29 June 2011 20:16

At least you still have the Hot Pockets.

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 29 June 2011 20:27

at least u aren't alcohol intolerant like that one kid.

KT237 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 20:47

atleast there's still the hot pockets :D unless you magical get allergic to those too

geeksaresexy 18

Wednesday 29 June 2011 23:05

Those hot pockets that are more than likely full of cheese?

Keywords

Family Holidays Miscellaneous Thanksgiving Politics AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Cheating Suspicious Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Friends Jealousy Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid

The Top

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 271

Today, I was sat in front of my computer, waiting for a Zoom meeting with my coworkers to start. I started doing interpretive dance arm movements to the jazzy funky hold music. Turns out that the camera wasn’t off, and everyone was silently watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 509

Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 161

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 609

You deserved it 733

Today, it was my first shift at Walmart. I wasn’t given an assignment, and my supervisor told me to “go find the manager to get assigned.” I spent the entire eight hours of my shift trying to find the manager. I couldn’t find my supervisor again either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 117

Today, I found a folder on my boyfriend's computer called "Facebook". It turned out to be a collection of thousands of photos from his female friends' accounts. It was all sorted into folders like "Big Tits", "Blonde", "Cameltoe", "Feet", and "Jailbait". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 344

You deserved it 2 879