Intimacy: Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was...

By Dockin - 14/02/2019 15:37 - India

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 252

You deserved it 38 037

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Same thing different taste

New isn't always good

By anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 246

You deserved it 32 450

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 1 845

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 160

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 590

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 181

By ouch - 26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 721

You deserved it 8 987

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 2 223

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 815

Smashing awakening

By charapos - 06/02/2022 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 229

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 461

missamazinggg 12

Wednesday 11 January 2012 22:17

Such a pain in the ass.

zebraface 15

Wednesday 11 January 2012 22:18

Because throwing your glasses on the ground is just sooo sexy.

Comments

ravenxcorvinus 9

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:13

that's epic...

DocBastard 38

Thursday 12 January 2012 1:53

No. War and Peace is epic. The Canterbury Tales are epic. This is mildly amusing at best. Reserve "epic" for things that actually are.

dogpup4 23

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:14

OP puts the ass into glass. Ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha.

yourXwillh8me 3

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:16

careful they don't sew up anything they shouldn't.

MrHankie1999 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:17

Must've been an eye opener for your partner

awkwardworkplace 9

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:17

Someone's a little stupid...

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:17

You put the ass in glass.

FalconCrunch 4

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:19

India, eh? I doubt the cow cared whether or not your glasses were still on.

ZOEY2343 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:32

At least you and your crush were making out. Look on the bright side:)

narrowords 18

Wednesday 11 January 2012 23:34

You obviously didn't pay for these glasses yourself. Or they didn't have prescription lenses. Mine do not go where feet or asses can break them. Ever.