Weird, Awkward and Work: Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager...

By TheVagabond_SRG - 02/08/2016 06:46 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 538

You deserved it 1 076

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hazing rituals

By newguy - 29/08/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 199

You deserved it 4 807

First day

By notsogoodtrainee - 09/07/2015 17:02 - United States - Fargo

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 640

You deserved it 4 814

By RandomLG94 - 31/10/2015 20:35 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 027

You deserved it 1 577

By ari - 18/02/2013 22:15 - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 931

You deserved it 3 891

By :( - 06/06/2013 23:37 - United States

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 911

You deserved it 4 757

Time to call it quits

By Cooky - 14/03/2010 09:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 439

You deserved it 6 734

By Bob - 14/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 010

You deserved it 4 678

I am a lineman for the countyyyyyy…

By Anon - 13/03/2014 00:11 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 653

You deserved it 3 693

By cthulhu help me - 01/03/2013 18:22 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 665

You deserved it 2 829

By Btdtgts - 25/03/2017 14:00

Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 615

You deserved it 335

Tripartita 44

Tuesday 2 August 2016 17:28

Due to some clerical error, the world's top assassin was assigned to manage a fast food joint. Meanwhile, in a blacklisted government facility, the person who would've been your manager is faking their way through interrogating a detained criminal. "Don't make me get the hairnet out, you scum! When I'm done with you, there won't be a meal happy enough to console you!"

sylvienoir 18

Tuesday 2 August 2016 18:54

I would watch that movie.

Comments

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 2 August 2016 21:33

Where do you work so I can watch out for you head in my fried food!!!!

Rababco 29

Tuesday 2 August 2016 22:08

I can't tell if your boss is a psychopath or just has a dark sense of humor.

Chasitygates 6

Wednesday 3 August 2016 5:34

He just has a dark sense of humor lol. I know the boss this is just a joke. He's really a good guy lol!

soulreaper12296 28

Tuesday 2 August 2016 22:23

I would warn someone higher up about said manager.

ThrottleJockey 35

Tuesday 2 August 2016 22:49

Did he also ask you if you've seen Pulp Fiction?

DrumrollPlease 9

Tuesday 2 August 2016 22:49

If you were in the UK I would wonder if you had my manager from a decade ago. She was a sweet looking old lady with Disney badges on her work cap... who once tried to persuade me to shove a coworker head first into the fryer.

anonymouskiwi127 15

Tuesday 2 August 2016 23:27

It's his idea of health and safety training maybe?

blackrose1996 11

Tuesday 2 August 2016 23:42

Hazing at its finest I guess

iwantasoda 16

Wednesday 3 August 2016 0:06

I think it might have been a joke that went over badly. I always tell newbies that they don't officially work for us until they manage to burn themselves at the fryer or on the oven