Health: Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't... - FML

By tstaeger - 24/07/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 425

You deserved it 37 822

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 159

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 862

You deserved it 5 782

But… why would you do that?

By cheerupsookylala - 29/09/2023 14:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 886

By Anonymous - 09/04/2017 20:00

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 565

You deserved it 1 421

By alexander - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 719

You deserved it 1 078

Pissed

By whoops - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 2 515

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 365

By sillybrohos - 15/02/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 312

You deserved it 33 802

By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 780

You deserved it 39 011

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 8 665

Next

Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Saturday 24 July 2010 12:52

Water is water is water is water is water. No need buying fancy shit.

FMLephant 2

Saturday 24 July 2010 13:24

can you open a roll of Smarties candy or is that also too difficult?

Comments

sammi13 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 5:07

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!- nice.

avenged7xforever 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 7:08

fail

auttie_girl 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 7:10

Haha! Real "Smart" OP!

stopyourbitching 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 7:46

How the **** is this a FML? boo-*******-hoo, you couldn't open a bottle cap. Your life must be soo horrible!

aussie827 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 8:36

omfg rofl!!

domonoadamu 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 9:16

the lid.... no Patrick , the lid.... tha.. lid. lololol

Tommy9537 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 10:25

Clearly Smart Water is not for you

istealhobos 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 11:27

I don't see how this is an fml. Its not like you were about to die of thirst and it was the only bottle of water left. e_e get someone to open it. Or! This may sound crazy... but learn how to TWIST A CAP. Absurd isnt it?

MrQuest 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 11:33

in Soviet Russia water smarter than YOU!

weheuw 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 14:50

at least you get the irony...

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 826

You deserved it 42 197

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 438

You deserved it 4 479

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 154

You deserved it 3 445

Today, I received an email telling me that the t-shirt I ordered almost a month ago as a Christmas present for my brother had finally been delivered. Unfortunately, it was delivered to my college dorm, which is 2 hours away. I won't be able to pick it up until mid-January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 447

You deserved it 989

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug-addicted friends into my home while I was away, where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 294

You deserved it 5 424

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 148

You deserved it 36 353