Intimacy: Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned...

By Michelle - 28/08/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 848

You deserved it 17 487

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Who am I?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2020 08:01

Today, while having hot passionate sex with my boyfriend, while I was moaning his name, he was coming to release and yelled out, "NO, THIS IS PATRICK!" His name isn't Patrick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 487

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 452

You deserved it 7 332

By say my name - 01/07/2012 01:35

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 395

You deserved it 11 426

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 223

You deserved it 4 935

By Yoshi - 31/01/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 213

You deserved it 6 491

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 497

You deserved it 5 019

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 878

You deserved it 5 513

Gamer watch

By kristajoy2001 - 01/09/2019 00:02

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 343

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 28 August 2009 23:22

hahahahahahahaha Your boyfriend is ******* awesome.

Yaz_fml 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:24

I think I want to marry your boyfriend... xD

Comments

Cutiiepiie395 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:47

Ugh this isnt a fuqqim fml....fuqq u for bein so uptight!! Kudos to ur bf for atleast tryin to be funny!! I bet i killled the mood!!

Cutiiepiie395 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:47

Ugh this isnt a fuqqim fml....fuqq u for bein so uptight!! Kudos to ur bf for atleast tryin to be funny!! I bet i killled the mood!!

StreetSinger 4

Friday 28 August 2009 23:49

Hahaha epic WIN!! My boyfriend would totally do this too, and I would love it. Thanks for the great idea.

Cutiiepiie395 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:49

U** myb lmao

enlitenbank 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:51

So your boyfriend is officially awesome.

swjeemtys 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:56

lmao...i definitely would have laughed so hard right there and then.

lastminuteperm 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:56

Who the **** is moderating these? This is the OPPISITE of FML. Your boyfriend is awesome!

Starchild21 3

Friday 28 August 2009 23:59

How the hell is it awesome that he killed the mood?

c6dragster 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:57

shhhhhh if you tell them of our better site theyll **** it up with fake stories... QUICK! BACK TO THE FORTS!

BadLuckTuck 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:00

LOL. What an average comment you have XD

null_fml 11

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:30

If only there was some sort of spell you could use to keep it secret...

mrda 0

Friday 28 August 2009 23:59

I wish I was ur bf lol

Starchild21 3

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:01

You mean you'd be ok with killing the mood you and your girl were having? That's completely sad and wrong

noidea_fml 3

Saturday 29 August 2009 0:00

haha thats this is the best fml ive read in weeks!!

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

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Hello, you lovely people! This week is yet again brought to you from our French website, so strap some baguettes on your arms, get the accordion out of storage and assume the mandatory position. While you do so, we’ll be off skateboarding, and the...

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 3

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

The Top

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 474

You deserved it 5 893

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 397

You deserved it 7 347

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 932

You deserved it 10 193

Today, once again, my boss posted a selfie with a Snapchat filter on the company's Facebook page. She doesn't see how it's unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 251

You deserved it 265

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 868

You deserved it 1 619

Today, I had unprotected sex with my 63 year-old friend. I’ve been told I would have trouble ever conceiving naturally. Now he’s worried I'm pregnant. It wouldn’t be so bad if his we weren’t both married. Here’s to hoping I’m not, and if so this baby comes out with brown eyes like mine and my husband's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 940

Same thing different taste

Who am I?

Narcissism

Repetition

Make believe

Gamer watch

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