By toastedguy - 01/12/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Rellich 0

I want to say, "YDI," but no one deserves a psycho bitch like that...

120 3

Comments

DumbStruck79 0

I had to read this 3 times and still don't get it completly...

2 13
MiniatureMayhem 0

I really hope you slapped that bitch for making you watch New Moon. And you know, the beard on fire thing.

19 5
igotabigego 0

new moon isnt terrible n why would she steal ur hat, whats so great about ur hat?

5 30
ELLIE37713 0

I smell at Twilight fanatic. Run. Sweet Jesus, run.

22 3
Link5794 18

Never ridicule a man's hat.

2 2
xoxo_123_haha 0

omg serves ya right for saying bad actors!! lol no kiddin dreadful date though :S fell sorry 4 ya still in future pls respect twilight actors :D

5 37
giggles26469 0

they arent real actors? What are they? fake actors?

4 3
Starfire22 5

You do realize that vampires are not real? They're fiction and if someone wanted vampires to shit out carebears, a writer can do that. Granted, traditionally, vampires can't be in the sunlight, but s. Meyers vampires... Sparkle in the sun... I know, I think it sounds gay too, but you can't say that They aren't vampires. In the twilight universe, vampires sparkle, in Other series they are from Atlantis And were made through nano technology and need to drink human blood because there bodies are in a constant state of repair... Yeah I read too much...

3 14
Tequilamockngbrd 7

They're real actors. They might not be GOOD actors, but they are real. Anyone who is saying lines in front of a camera and making millions from it is a real actor. Realize that authors have their own "brand" of vampires, like Starfire said. If vampires really existed and Meyer decided to deviate from what the really were, then yeah, you'd have a credible statement on your hands. Since they're not real, though, people can do whatever they want with them.

3 2
grv_fml 4

those are not vampires they are called wimpires blade would have soo much fun :)

8 4
gaffelfrosk 0

That's what you get for having a beard AND wearing a hat. Your date was probably just trying to stop you from humiliating yourself.

1 14
Rayn4u_fml 0

That’s the last time she’ll try doing him a favour obviously…

0 8
marc_with_a_c 3

Fake/10? Seriously.. ok I can understand the hat stealing, cellphone stealing to get back at her.. but burning you over that? AND you staying in the theater to watch the movie instead of leaving after it happened? yeah... either fake, or you're an unlucky moron

5 3
saunder 0

haha a hat AND a beard, are you a movie director or an aging skater?

1 9
MoonyIce 0

And THAT'S why you don't date people who like Twilight.

20 5
Taurus_ChicKa 36

She isn't psycho because she likes Twilight. She's psycho because she's psycho. Why'd she steal his hat anyway ffs? Immature much? She gives all Twilight fans a bad name.

2 8
BurpusMe 0

She sounds spicy - did you tap that ass?

2 4
mthurston 14

Kinda wondering that myself

0 0