Intimacy: Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands...

By tinytitty - 23/03/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 387

You deserved it 9 259

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Same thing different taste

Second base?

By armtits and big pits - 05/04/2014 07:14 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 373

You deserved it 8 333

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 066

By Anonymous - 23/12/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 623

You deserved it 45 515

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 551

You deserved it 1 517

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 523

By miapapaya - 15/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 347

You deserved it 6 672

Last act

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 20:00

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 179

You deserved it 275

Making plans

By nowsingle - 03/07/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 004

You deserved it 5 803

Dirty talk

By unlucky_number13 - 14/07/2009 09:41 - United States

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 912

You deserved it 62 739

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 658

You deserved it 15 428

partake_fml 2

Monday 23 March 2009 12:26

Yeah, so what? Do the same with his dick/muscles.

kingnor 0

Monday 23 March 2009 13:11

do you have small boobs? what was he expecting, they'd be bigger underneath your shirt or something. Small boobs are hot, don't waste time with a guy who won't appreciate them.

Comments

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Monday 23 March 2009 13:37

I love when display names pertain to the FML. Also, I got the same visual as #8. I presume you have nipples, they can't be THAT hard to find. Even if you're completely flat-chested, he's a human being, he should know where these things are located...

d347hm4n 0

Monday 23 March 2009 13:43

Give them time #9, give them time.

TheAntiComment 0

Monday 23 March 2009 14:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

kyoko131 3

Thursday 29 July 2010 22:28

it's also not her fault the guys a moron

panda4life 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 8:23

omg ur a retard milk doesn't make ur boobs big!!!!! I have milk everyday for breakfast and I don't have big boobs. learn about science it explains it all retard

xcrashxloved 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:00

Are you retarded? Drink some milk? Seriously youre a dipshit(x

ScottieJo 8

Tuesday 10 January 2012 18:16

What the **** has drinking milk got to do with it?

melissaferns 16

Saturday 23 May 2015 3:32

it is believed the hormones in cows milk can cause rapid surge in human growth hormones resulting in larger breasts. tbh though i think it's bs I'm super stacked and can't stand milk and have never really drank it. It's genetic in my family though. To anyone who thinks big boobs are great think again so many back problems even with the proper support not to mention even with exercise unless you can afford surgery gravity will take effect. I speak from experience. Love your boobs the way they are any size can be sexy ;)

Sure_Thing 0

Monday 23 March 2009 14:21

Idiot on two accounts... 1) Even if you have literally NO boobs, guys know not to say anything because that guarantees that the action ends there and 2) How the HELL can a person not find boobs? Dumb shit... Also, anyone else getting a Dr. Zoidberg vibe from this one?

Bleep_fml 0

Monday 23 March 2009 14:37

If he doesn't know where to find your boobs, he should go play with his legos for a few more years, then try again. If he thought he was being funny about small boob sizes, you should've squeezed his crotch as hard as possible and told him to grow a dick before trying anything with you again.