Miscellaneous: Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad...

By Username - 19/05/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 194

You deserved it 7 952

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Wasted

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 952

You deserved it 4 765

By Shamu - 27/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 011

You deserved it 7 088

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 265

You deserved it 9 318

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 470

You deserved it 7 855

By Someone - 16/04/2014 00:20 - Canada - Windsor

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 051

You deserved it 5 824

By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 23:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 042

You deserved it 6 792

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 158

By StungAlot - 12/06/2019 06:18

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 223

KatrinaKitten 16

Friday 20 May 2011 1:20

You should have yanked him in the water and drowned him; Show him Shamu!

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1

Friday 20 May 2011 1:19

I like cupcakes.

Comments

thegr8destroyer 0

Friday 20 May 2011 2:48

I love giraffe's!

Egnar 19

Friday 20 May 2011 2:49

I like how the FML actually says that dad was being sarcastic - As in, dad was making a joke that you understood was a joke, otherwise you never would have used the word sarcastic. So, where is the problem exactly?. . Hell, I could see my dad making that same joke and I'm hardly fat at all. Kudos for being able to recognize a joke, unlike most FML posters whom can't even tell, but, you need to progress past that to learning how to take a joke.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 20 May 2011 3:18

Mean spirited jokes are not funny. Walk into a biker bar or a bar full of marines and start joking about what morons the patrons are. As they're beating the crap out of you, remind them that it was just a joke and they should get a sense of humor. OP, you should remind your dad that they're called killer whales for a reason and he should watch his back.

barlessprison 16

Friday 20 May 2011 3:22

Well said.

Egnar 19

Friday 20 May 2011 3:55

Mean spirited jokes in the presence of strangers may not be funny because it doesn't sound like a joke at all - But, the OP understood it was a joke, hence the "sarcastically" in the FML - He KNOWS his father doesn't actually feel that way.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Friday 20 May 2011 4:10

Jokes can hurt too.

emokid321 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 4:00

tell it like it is yo

xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7

Friday 20 May 2011 2:51

bahahahahaha xDDD im sorry but thts funny xDDD but also sad

lmaoatall 6

Friday 20 May 2011 5:25

I don't find it funny when a parent mentally abuses their own kid. this is a bigger issue than what people are seeing it as. this wasn't an asshole stranger, this was a parent. I don't find it amusing.

Scooter42 15

Friday 20 May 2011 3:02

Its nice that your dad has a sense of humour about your obesity. If you were my kid I'd be bringing you to a gym myself and making sure you are eating properly until you get down to a healthy weight.