Kids: Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I...

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:03 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 659

You deserved it 6 233

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Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 156

You deserved it 6 018

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 742

You deserved it 23 093

By badcomparison - 18/12/2016 07:02 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 546

You deserved it 828

Fight me

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 762

You deserved it 25 582

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 719

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 3 768

By Geewizz - 05/04/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 484

You deserved it 4 709

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 998

You deserved it 18 158

By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 260

You deserved it 5 144

Little perv

By cplaner - 04/02/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 5 238

Jaxro 6

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:13

Your girlfriend must be made of pure win, that's hilarious. Just wear a shirt..

3ree 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:34

if its on your back, clearly you couldnt write it on yourself.

Comments

cj_gurl 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 15:22

That was a horrible thing to do - even if you hadn't worked as a children's swimming instructo! That you do only makes 100 times worse. I hope she feels terribly ashamed of herself.

jayensee 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 15:28

So...wear a vest. big f-in' deal.

x_eyebrows 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 16:16

What a shitty sense of humour! Your girlfriend might possibly be a dumbass.. or secretly hate you.

yesmy_love 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 16:24

wow... so basically 95% of the people who commented on this are on their menstrual cycle. awesome. chill out people. i found this humorous.. but i can see how it would suck with your job and whatnot... but it's still funny. maybe people should pull their tampons out of their ass and lighten up a little.

wompwompwomp 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 16:35

CHILD ABUSE IS NOT FUNNY... THis Joke (FML) IS pretty funny and I already like your gf. With that said.. Whats the best thing about twenty seven year olds?? THERE ARE TWENTY OF THEM! Relax people. its a joke. And dont abuse children

castnerinho 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 16:51

of course you work as a swimming instructor bs

notmuch 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 16:53

Agree with #12. Also, how long would you have to tan that this would be even readable?

zlollerskatestim 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 17:06

Can you introduce me to her if you're bailing out?

cheesefest 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 17:09

Teaching in a wetsuit ftw.

llama 1

Wednesday 8 April 2009 17:11

i don't understand if it was just in sunscreen or if you got tan/burnt on/around the words....if it's the former then STOP COMPLAINING. if it's the latter then HA HAHAHAHAH