By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 00:21 - United States - Matteson

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 348
You deserved it 4 464
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Top comments

drayloon 50

So you cheated on her with her? Oh ok that makes sense

605 7
Cheeley 17

Well lock the door in case she does.

348 7

Comments

ironichalibut 24

you should've said you could recognize her smell, and sense her presence because of your timeless love for her.

34 6
ironichalibut 24

Damm 8 beat me! Damm you slow Internet connection!

16 4
ironichalibut 24

Oh wait.. I messed that up.. Dam* is a swear..

12 9
poodle_juice 17

It seems as if you'd probably be better without her OP.

18 3
dRUMsKELETON 12

People need to stop making up these ridiculously illogical tests for their partners. Who else would be kissing you at that time?! The hooker you ordered to wake you up in the morning with a kiss? ...sure.

111 3
Rainbow_dumpster 28

I know, right? That is very asinine to op's girlfriend to leave him like that. It was just a mutual response out of love. a kiss is a kiss.

14 0
Ki11erC 18

Yea, the hooker I order for a morning kiss is always late, usually lunch time by the time she gets her lazy ass over.

14 0
fordneagles 34

Good thing she left, you're clearly better off without that crazy in your life.

21 0
SirTalkaton 22

Uh dude, run. Just run. She sounds like a ball of crazy with a side of psycho.

15 2
mr_sarcastic416 29

#21 no need for op to fun, it seems like the crazy one already left

6 2
KLeePrice 11

31-The psycho ones tend to return and act as if nothing ever happened.

4 2
UnluckyGenius 21

You should have tried saying her natural odor gave her away.

3 7
UnluckyGenius 21

I was referring to all the FMLs where the boyfriend/husband have put deodorant on their girlfriend or wife.

1 3
Jharrist89 12

See its bitches like your ex that make men crazy! Can I get an Amen!?

5 25
Voij 16

Apparently, you can't. Who'da thought that immediately using the term "bitches" does not make people agree with you, huh?

20 0
MiscHats 14

no. you can, however, hang your head in shame.

9 0
Jharrist89 12

Oh my bad, I should have used bipolar, with mentality issues because that's politically correct. Smh.

2 20
squideth 18

Yeah cuz men are totally exempt from being crazy, amiright? Durr hurr sexist generalizations are so cool!

9 2
Jharrist89 12

Ohhhhhh no... It happens according to his ex lol.

7 10
ltaper11 20

You should have said I read your lips like Braille I knew it was you before I opened my eyes

11 3
jem970 19

Hahahahahahaha! I am having a real immature moment because the barf made me crack up laughing. The comment was romantic tho.

0 8