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circa 1950 wicked
I understand that the origin of asking the father was over property/money. Times have changed, people. I'm a female. I would find it charming and respectful if my boyfriend were to ask my father even though in the end it's my decision. In many cases, a daughter is her daddy's entire world. It's hard enough on him to watch her grow up so quickly, let alone have another man come to take care of his babygirl. It's nice when a guy asks the father because it's a way of reassuring the dad that the guy will take good care of her.
As a female, I will say that I would rather the man asked my dad permission. Even if he said yes, I could still say no.It shows respect for the family. I have a close relationship with my family and their opinion matters. If your parents think your boyfriend/girlfriend is a douchebag chances are, they are douchebags. But if they didn't ask my father for permission, it wouldn't be the end of the world. It is not objectifying a woman, it is acknowledging that those people will be your in-laws and they better like you otherwise get-togethers are going to be hell.
#70 I'm a girl though! :p
Whoah. I feel for you man. There's always life after an ex. Stay up. :)
As a female in a long term relationship (and *GASP* I'm educated TOO!), I would hope my boyfriend speaks with my parents before he proposes. I'm sure most guys speak with THEIR parents before proposing, if not just to let them know what is going on (my brothers both did...) so them talking to HER parents isn't out of the question or sexist, IMO. For everyone FLIPPING THE HELL OUT about this guy "asking permission"--get over yourselves. He probably didn't LITERALLY mean he was asking the dad instead of his girlfriend. MANY people think it is a sign of respect for a guy to speak with their gf's parents before they propose. And maybe this girls mother isn't in the picture? Maybe she has passed and therefore he can ONLY talk to the father. If this guy was truly asking the dad permission (which I find truly hard to believe...it is 2009 afterall...) then he is a douche and deserved it. But I just don't buy it. Sorry man,
I'm confused as to why everyone seems to think that she dumped because he asked her dad for permission to propose. She clearly broke up with him in order to date someone else. Seriously, why is everyone so hostile? It's not really that big of a deal.
61. I never said he didn't ask the dad's permission..... I was saying that he was going to ask the girl as well. The original statement says "I had just gotten permission from her dad to PROPOSE!" Which implies that he was asking the dad if he could ask the girl. It's not like the girl wasn't going to be in on it at all. Of course if the dad had said no then it's possible that the girl wouldn't have gotten a say, so I guess I can see where some of you are coming from from there. I think if he did say no though it should be something they should all discuss. Anyway, it's not supposed to be disrespectful to the girl, and I don't think it is at all provided that if the dad had declined the issue would have been brought up with the girl. You guys need to relax and read carefully before you start to make assumptions/accusations and go crazy.
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Oh poor thing I'm sorry. But at least you knew how she felt before you actually proposed.
At least this happened instead of her cheating on you with this guy down the road, leading to a long and painful divorce.