By failure - 08/04/2011 05:24

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 738
You deserved it 80 971
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Cinn_fml 22

That's one way of doing it. But there is probably a better way of telling you what you need to give her.

84 3
Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Just do oral I guess? Or, like the guys above me are saying, take something of hers!

66 8

Comments

perdix 29

You do know where they are hidden, right? Hint: When you find them, they are going to be wet and smelly. You are obviously a fail at *******, so he's what you do: Watch lesbian **** and learn to eat a pussy from those who own them. Then, limber up your tongue, nom, nom, nom and "see the U.S.A. in your Chevrolet!"

8 10
Alleged_Cranium 7

Fair trade: You don't get a proper ride Until she gets a proper ride

8 1
redark 0

not an fml thats good lots of sex

1 0
Zombie65 0

quit being selfish and give her what she needs YDI

4 2
vystral 0

So do it. Even women who can't do it with intercourse are able to ******

2 2
blackvyper 8

So you never got those keys back huh?

1 1
ry_ry7 4

Most people complain about too little sex. You are seriously complaining, in all actuality, about too much sex? Wow.

3 2
fcryingoutloud 9

This is, or has become, an abusive relationship. Try to reverse the genders; say, a man pressuring a reluctant girlfriend into oral sex by hiding her car keys. Expecting men to "perform" in bed is sexist and may be, as feminists like to say, more about power than about sex. At any rate, it takes all the pleasure out of sex and if the desperately undersexed of the internet knew what they were talking about, they'd prefer to stay undersexed.

14 0
PickleSurprise 6

Agreed with 117. Abusive relationship can be any relationship with intimacy and a male can be sexually coerced just as a female can be

10 0
TheNewGuy03 28

finally, people who think with their other head (or talk with their other lips, as the case may be). people still also seem to be under the impression that domestic violence doesn't occur to men, but that's a different story. more news at 5. |the kid|

6 1
Lisa89 3

I'm surprised so many YDI. She sounds a bit immature. If she wants an ****** she should communicate with him and tell him what she wants instead of being childish. If she has to 'force' him [taking his keys] to do it he probably isn't all that great a guy anyway (or she isn't all that great). I guess OP, just ask her what she wants and give her a night to remember.

9 1
ImaWiseGuy 5

did you read post? she told him exactly what she wants from him.....if it's come to her holding his keys hostage im sure this isnt the first time they've had this conversation.....

1 7
loveofyourlife11 0

just because she said she wanted an ****** doesn't exactly mean she told him what she wanted. I believe Lisa meant that op's girlfriend needs to tell him how she likes it in order for her to reach the climax she is asking for. not all women can climax from the same thing. women all have their own buttons that need to be pushed in order to reach said climax. and the girlfriend needs to express what those certain things are and where the buttons are that need pushing. I agree with Lisa.

5 1
joa76 3

To be fair, she might not KNOW what it takes for her to ******, which would make telling him difficult. I agree, though, taking his keys and trying to force him into it is rather immature.

5 0
loveofyourlife11 0

that's true. I didn't think about that. though if she doesn't know, that's and fml on her part as well! maybe they should experiment and find out what makes her climax together.

1 1
BRenolds 0

Dude. Nice. I will never understand how someone could complain about this.

1 1
ollk33 0

true he must be gay....

0 3