Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage...

By devilboy - 06/07/2011 11:26 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 145

You deserved it 18 028

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 279

You deserved it 3 722

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 341

You deserved it 7 041

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 371

You deserved it 3 435

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 713

You deserved it 10 552

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 279

You deserved it 7 888

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 420

You deserved it 6 698

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 9 620

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 666

You deserved it 7 573

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 315

You deserved it 9 617

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 14:41 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 278

You deserved it 9 932

aprilita 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:01

To console her by making love to her ;)

ParkersGirl 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:00

LMAO!

Comments

baller2432 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:41

so marry her then!

KickItHigh 32

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:44

I wonder if the comments are gonna be closed cause people could start arguing about religion.

bee127 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:48

you deserve it for having a religious girlfriend.

rhysfucker 24

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:51

who da man? u da man! "But say the devil's name and he shall appear"

Jasonf6 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:52

Stupid bible-thumpers

NoodleBurger 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:22

Ew, why would you date someone religious?

ih82bl8 2

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:26

well... ydi. if you knew her well enough u wud know it would bother her

HarleyCycle 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:30

Ah. Adam and Eve lol

recon314 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:36

hahaha that sucks

rtjacobson 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:41

lol! dumb girls...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 706

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 603

You deserved it 26 966

The Top

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 019

You deserved it 3 720

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 115

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend handed me this month’s rental statement with “Paid” written in red ink. He says it’s my gift, because, "that shit adds up every month" and I should be "grateful" that I have a roof over my head for another month instead of being "materialistic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 494

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 883

You deserved it 24 108

Today, I'd set aside a weekend to play D&D. Some old acquaintances wanted to join, saying they'd pay for food. When I picked them up to drive them to the game, they claimed they were screwed on their paychecks, couldn't afford food or gas. However, they could afford Mountain Dew and candy bars for themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 127

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 059

You deserved it 4 512

Same thing different taste

Jesus wept

Like a virgin

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