Miscellaneous: Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream... - FML

By pistonchamp159 - 28/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 9 932

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Same thing different taste

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 822

You deserved it 3 864

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 275

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 996

You deserved it 5 285

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 6 532

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 461

You deserved it 809

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 254

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 481

You deserved it 1 581

How deep is it?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 01:00

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 277

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 211

You deserved it 4 268

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 601

You deserved it 4 984

Next

Top comments

Fredzter 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:19

HAHAHA!! He is my hero! If you don't want him, I'll take him!! :D

iDemonChild 0

Friday 28 August 2009 16:21

Lol. Whipped cream and tickling your nose... Classic. =D

Comments

doggie3 0

Friday 28 August 2009 17:02

Im sorry, but I have to agree with almost everyone else. Have a little fun and get him back!

watermind 0

Friday 28 August 2009 17:02

That was awesome :D

Hockey_Chik 1

Friday 28 August 2009 17:03

This is the cutest thing ever! He probably had handcuffs too but you were bitching too much to notice. :]

dayrin7 4

Friday 28 August 2009 17:06

awww knowing my boyfriend this is something he would do :]

xoconnie 8

Friday 28 August 2009 17:12

ohmygosh, thats not bad...get over it, he was trying to be funny. laugh it off(: anddd if u feel like u need revenge do it to him tmrw. lol

aback 4

Friday 28 August 2009 17:13

I'd say wait till he passes out, then draw on his face with a Sharpie, but no--use a non-permanent marker.

ragsy 7

Friday 28 August 2009 17:19

That was really passive agressive.

plexico 3

Friday 28 August 2009 17:22

Come back when he puts battery acid on your hand and tickles your nose with a feather. In the meantime, if he's waking you up at 3AM with whipped cream, he obviously wants some pie. Give the man some pie! Blueberry, coconut cream, hair. . .

jonny2x4 0

Friday 28 August 2009 17:24

Verrrrry mature. Don't let this one get away. He sounds like a prize.

blah123blah 0

Friday 28 August 2009 17:28

Take a shower and put on your big girl panties.

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Keywords

Gifts Awkward Kids Money Annoying Work Coworkers Accident Miscellaneous Cute Weddings Love Sports Health AITA Erratas Ironic Neighbours Housework Home improvement Cleaning Disappointment Snoring Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relatable Family Politics Anniversary Pranks

The Top

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 141

You deserved it 9 204

Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 244

The Top

Today, my boyfriend uses the same thermos mug for everything he drinks; water, coffee, cider, vodka, everything. This afternoon, I looked inside and it was slimy and black in places. I demanded to know when he last washed it. His answer, “Um, when did I buy it?” I can’t kiss him anymore, I feel sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 102

Today, my dad said he hates gay people. My parents don't know I'm gay. I'm a high school senior. I wish I could just have someone to love and to love me, I just feel so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 2 168

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 786

You deserved it 16 158

Today, I found out my brand new $3,000 mattress that is supposed to relieve my back pain works amazingly. I only discovered this because my wife, son, daughter, dog, and two cats are all asleep on it and not waking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 902

You deserved it 1 031

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 167

You deserved it 2 519

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 833

You deserved it 3 252