Work: Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have... - FML

By jacko - 15/08/2010 09:47 - Reserved

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 584

You deserved it 40 574

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ripo95 - 26/11/2008 06:18 - France

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 781

You deserved it 46 551

By JasonX0656 - 29/01/2017 06:00 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 716

You deserved it 1 579

By Beardedlady - 27/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Madison

Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 629

You deserved it 418

By Buggga - 22/08/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 079

You deserved it 12 601

By dogproblems - 27/01/2015 15:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 3 560

By marisa - 05/01/2013 00:31 - Ireland - Carlow

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 243

You deserved it 4 316

By Anonymous - 08/02/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 761

You deserved it 8 989

Army dudes

By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 17:39 - United States - Glendale

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 346

You deserved it 4 216

Itchy arse

By DaggerHole - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 349

You deserved it 16 669

Back to reality

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 486

You deserved it 13 101

Next

Top comments

mynameisal 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 16:17

ydi for having a chin

zattele 3

Sunday 15 August 2010 16:24

it will be funnier if OP is a girl

Comments

ForTheMotherland 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 22:00

Good luck with that one.

SleepyHead34 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 22:01

ew dude

losergiant 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 22:33

dude 1000 words isn't even alot... quit whinning baby...

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 15 August 2010 22:39

hey, at least he didn't make you write lines. the sad thing is, i've seen soldiers **** up worse and get less of a punishment. that said, most dudes would just smoke the crap out of you. if he's being a dick and bitching you out about not shaving on a weekend, then it's kinda ****** up. unless you're at ft. hood, which now has a policy that you have to shave on leave and shit (which is, of course, ignored). anyway, count yourself lucky. and if you need to, get a shaving profile. |the kid|

jokerelp 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 22:49

where does it say he is a marine

tyler719 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 22:51

maybe you shouldn't be such a shitbag

stitch_book 4

Sunday 15 August 2010 23:16

it's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAA ... uhhh ... HUNDREEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.>

leebie 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 23:18

you got off easy

Wowwsy2011 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 23:21

670-1

cmc140 0

Monday 16 August 2010 0:07

essay WTF no push ups take away off posts passes run 20 miles article 15 an essay what has the military come too.

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 183

Today, I got offered a ride to go home for the weekend. I go to college six hours away from home and haven't seen my family for almost two months. When I called my mom with the good news, she told me not to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 984

You deserved it 2 601

Today, marks almost two years of being sexually inactive after being widowed. It also happened to be the day I made an uncharacteristic decision. I hooked up with a male friend. I'm so out of practice, I honestly believe round-two the next morning was out of pity more than actual interest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 217

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 922

You deserved it 28 340

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 329

You deserved it 4 541

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 5 851