Intimacy: Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've...

By Cheated - 03/08/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 404

You deserved it 4 579

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Same thing different taste

Hopeless

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, then, my wife told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 266

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 393

You deserved it 4 404

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 256

Charming dude

By unzucht - 30/05/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 734

You deserved it 2 494

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 3 659

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 433

You deserved it 6 700

By Broken - 03/08/2010 12:11 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 206

You deserved it 4 734

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 965

You deserved it 6 739

Three is a magic number

By Jenny - 05/04/2020 23:00

Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 498

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 16 475

SparkleMotion44 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 12:26

divorce that ***** brah

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 12:44

answer: I want a divorce for dinner

Comments

TheNomNomRaptor 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 14:13

I think she's kidding... or I hope she is...

Xivion 19

Wednesday 17 February 2016 2:39

So lemme get this strait... 5guys burgers and fries might be the father instead!? Holy French fries you could have a weird burger fry human child!!! Aaagghh!