Absolutely not true! Many people who are asexual(Don't like to have sex or have no interest in it) are able to have romantic relationships(Their romantic orientation is not aromantic, it is heteroromantic/homoromantic/biromantic/panromantic/etc), and don't have sex at all. There are tons of things people can do that are fun that aren't sexual.

That's because it's doing something without letting your spouse know, something that could shatter their trust of you. You are becoming intimate with someone besides your spouse, even if your spouse doesn't get intimate in the same way, only emotionally. If it was really important for them to do that, they could ask their spouse to make it more open. Cheating is wrong, even if your spouse never wants to have sex.

That honestly sounds like blackmail, or a threat. "If you don't have sex with me, I'm going to divorce you" is a really jerkish thing to say.

Well if I can't **** my wife, she better make a DAMN good sammich.

123 - I think it's also pretty messed up, if one isn't interested in sex whatsoever, to not tell their s.o. before marriage, even if it brings the risk of the relationship ending. There are some people that value sex in a relationship and see it as a way one should connect with their partner, and it's not fair if things like this aren't discussed about before something as (relatively) permanent as tying the knot. You have to look at these things from both sides.

Even so, that doesn't mean an ultimatum is the best way of going about it. Maturely talking about it - better late than never - would surely be better for both people involved, as that at least gives things a chance to be fixed.

No 123...it isn't blackmail or a threat...its a simple fact. Physical intimacy may not be the most important part of a healthy relationship, but it is a necessary part. Who would want to stay married to someone who doesn't even want to make love to them? That's not even taking into account that the marriage is sham and based on a lie...as others have already pointed out. If she wanted a sexless marriage then that is something OP had a right to know before he said "I do."

you are correct it is a jerkish thing to say but it is not half as bad as marrying someone and not telling them beforehand that you are not that interested in sex. forcing your spouse to endure a sexless marriage is a form of abuse. if both parties are happy with not having sex that is fine but when one person has a healthy libido and the other doesn't then you have a serious problem. like someone said earlier good sex is 10 percent of a marriage, but bad sex or no sex becomes 90 percent of the marriage

223 - An ultimatum is not a good way to go about it at all. I'm just saying that no one should have to be in a sexless marriage if they want sex to be a part of the relationship, simply because their wife/husband didn't tell them about their sexual disinterest before tying the knot. It's called being fair and honest to your partner. People need to put all the cards on the table before getting into marriage. Period.

That I agree with. I must've misread your previous post with the implication that it was ok to give an ultimatum, which I disagree with. I agree that they should've discussed this beforehand, but it's not necessarily too late to discuss it now. I guess it would depend on what her reasons are.

She might not be a terrible person, but she DID something terrible if she tricked him into this marriage. It worries me that you'd think otherwise!

You are so right, jemiller226! This woman has this issue completely backwards; and by completely, I mean absolutely, 100% backwards.

what she did is a form of abuse. sexless marriages are horrible things for those that are in it and the refuser is just as likely to be a man as woman so gender is not an issue. unless you go into the marriage with the knowledge that your spouse does not want sex it is a horrible thing to deny the person you supposedly love a basic human need.