Intimacy: Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated... - FML

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By pervert - 09/01/2010 06:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 541

You deserved it 28 775

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Same thing different taste

Can't catch a break

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 18:30 - India - Bengaluru

Spicy

Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 383

By Lonely - 02/01/2010 10:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 444

You deserved it 7 461

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 219

You deserved it 39 624

By lindsaykay - 18/04/2012 00:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 184

You deserved it 4 125

By 44haley44 - 12/07/2011 17:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 786

You deserved it 57 305

By SuperJesus - 01/02/2009 10:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 492

You deserved it 8 081

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 785

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 310

You deserved it 5 780

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 790

You deserved it 5 876

By monty - 09/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 388

You deserved it 13 444

Next

Top comments

playnejayne 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 12:30

that is really creepy. fyl.

Lord_Stubby 2

Saturday 9 January 2010 12:43

....over Dora the Explorer or was it just on?! Either way, ew.

Comments

rockstarcolie66 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 0:46

oh god the whole other world of dora

tiedwithsmiles 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 0:51

LOL IRL

Compass 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 4:00

You came when she said "We did it!"?

sextacular 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 4:57

People really need to learn the difference, stop assuming and commenting saying "UR A PEDOPHILE!!1one", he didn't say he was masturbating TO Dora, he said he was masturbating while it was on.

pwincessa23 1

Sunday 10 January 2010 4:57

Wow! that's just plain weird....

ladykhadijah 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 5:03

Wow...

Agent229 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 5:30

you just need to committ suicide

skeleton_skinner 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 6:10

Lmao to

urclremi 2

Sunday 10 January 2010 6:38

O_O errrr...uhhh... y do we have to know this?

BoostaRoosta 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 6:48

that fox is so hawt

MissOriginal 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 7:54

Yeah omg totally....

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