Health: Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set...

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By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 395

You deserved it 12 035

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 897

You deserved it 14 224

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 620

You deserved it 33 008

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 5 001

Ouch

By sadface - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 789

You deserved it 7 507

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 021

You deserved it 7 040

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 326

You deserved it 58 290

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 3 729

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 746

You deserved it 6 414

By neednewshoes - 07/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 441

You deserved it 5 010

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 348

You deserved it 35 662

profoundkisses 18

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Use your other hand!

revan546 24

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...

Comments

krazykyra 12

Friday 19 July 2013 7:38

I'm sure that smells fantastic(;

cottoncandymango 17

Friday 19 July 2013 7:39

You have two hands... Use your other hand. (And your brain: common sense)

Neyuu 18

Friday 19 July 2013 9:29

I'm sorry, I find it difficult to use my other brain sometimes.

frip_fml 9

Friday 19 July 2013 7:42

Ops a one armed shit fingered bandit.

sushi314 12

Friday 19 July 2013 7:46

Flush before you wipe?

xTrepidation 14

Friday 19 July 2013 7:48

Why not get in the habit of flushing before you wipe, especially if you're uncomfortable standing or switching hands. Still not fun getting toilet water on your hand but better than shit.