Health: Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set...

By broken finger - 18/07/2013 20:53 - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 390

You deserved it 12 031

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 14 214

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 001

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 4 985

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 487

You deserved it 7 421

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 7 038

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 321

You deserved it 58 277

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 3 724

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 735

You deserved it 6 410

By neednewshoes - 07/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 4 996

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 344

You deserved it 35 653

profoundkisses 18

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Use your other hand!

revan546 24

Friday 19 July 2013 7:26

Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...

Comments

askingandy 23

Friday 19 July 2013 9:14

And you never thought, "Hey. Maybe standing up would prevent this."

soupermeal 10

Friday 19 July 2013 9:15

Standing up is the way to go

captainbrainless 3

Friday 19 July 2013 9:15

Change hands man FFS!!!

lulu889x 22

Friday 19 July 2013 9:21

I feel understand your misfortune. I work at a nursing homes. I atleast get to wear gloves and get paid to do it. haha

mylifeequalsfml 5

Friday 19 July 2013 9:57

Am I the only one who realized that in order for to happen his water level must be extremey high or his toilet seat is built like an inch above water level?

Louiev82 8

Friday 19 July 2013 9:24

Make sure not to finger ur Girl after

Martinez0285 28

Friday 19 July 2013 9:41

great way to give someone a stink palm :)

venom2421 10

Friday 19 July 2013 9:44

Am I the only one that stands up when I wipe my ass?

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Friday 19 July 2013 10:25

And... there goes my breakfast...

Ki11erC 18

Friday 19 July 2013 10:32

How long is your finger? Or do you actually sit on water? I can't think of a toilet where this would even be possible without seriously going out your way to each into it.