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Cut them off

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 716

Treat yourself

By Terri - 08/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 124

Breakups are hard

By majestic09 - 29/12/2023 08:00 - United States - Round Rock

Today, and for the last three months, I’ve felt super incompatible with my therapist, but I don’t know how to fire her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 429

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story, Dad

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 23:00

Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 112

Ban TikTok now!

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I posted a TikTok with my male best friend. My boyfriend has been ghosting me ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 661

Heads up

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 05:00

Today, after a day spent at the beach, I was looking back through our photos. Neither my husband, sisters, kids, or our friends bothered to tell me that my white swimsuit became a bit see-through when wet. In absolutely every photo you could clearly see my pubes and my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 364

Deception

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 23:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 71

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 24/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, the woman I’ve loved, cared for, and nursed through cancer, left me for her ex since he wants to get married and I don’t. I didn’t know that a piece of paper and a white dress mean more than unconditional love and support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 536

Tips Fedora

By UglyBoi4Lyfe - 28/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I had to watch as the girl I love got her heart stomped to pieces once again. She had turned me down because apparently I’m not “her type”. She doesn’t understand that I will worship the ground she walks on, and give her the world and more. Her type must be abusers and cheaters then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 074

Heftychonk

By Wha happen? - 11/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my cat went from a badass huntress to the tuxedo equivalent of Garfield in just four years. She's only 6. I don't overfeed her and try very hard to keep her active. I have no idea why she got so fat and lazy. I do know that dealing with bugs by myself is something I can't afford to do adequately right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 167

ALIENS!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to give a presentation on ancient civilizations. As a joke, my friend dared me to do the whole thing using puppets, which I thought it would be hilarious. Halfway through, I noticed the look on my professor's face and my classmates giggling. My professor has a phobia of puppets and I was the only one unaware of this fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 157

Is everything OK?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 124

Agony

By Megan Stevens - 26/08/2024 08:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, I got told by the doctor that my aching knees indeed have advanced arthritis, meaning I'm grinding bone on bone 24/7. At 49, I'm "relatively young," meaning they want me to survive for as many years as I can before they'll replace them. Never mind that I've already been in agony for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 75

Never forget

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, the guy I went to prom with way back in 2006 decided to message me out of the blue. He’s now one of those red pill, MGTOW, woman-hater types. He told me all the reasons he’s too good for me, and why I’ll never have a man like him. I’ve spoken to him maybe twice in the last 18 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 83

What would you do?

By Immajerk - 20/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I just got a girlfriend who I love a lot, but I’m friends with this other girl out of pity. It’s so obvious she likes me a lot, and even goes the extra mile for me, but she’s just not my type. I’ve contemplated many times how to get rid of her without hurting her feelings. I just can’t bring myself to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 564

Piss poor excuse, dude

By Anonymous - 27/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 8 years is still cheating on me with the girl that he was caught sexting on my birthday back in July. His response was that if I didn't hang out with my friends on the weekends, he wouldn't have to find someone to entertain him all week. We live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 231

He got game

By Facepalm - 17/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband, who lost 250 pounds and has never been healthier, that no, he does not get a pass to sleep around to "make up" for all the sex he missed when he was young and fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 152

Lock your doors

By Not a cheater - 21/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while taking a test in my online class, my sister unexpectedly showed up. She panicked when she realized what I was doing, as the class has a strict rule of being 100% alone during tests. I assured her that because she wasn't helping me to cheat, it would be fine. Turns out it wasn't fine, as I got a zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 292

Give me something, anything!

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hired as an aide to a manager. He only works 2 hours a day, so I only work for 2 hours. The other 8 hours of my day I'm bored because I’m not allowed to go home, watch YouTube, browse Facebook, or read a book, so I just sit at my desk, earning £0.17 over minimum wage, to stare at a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 151

Mortifying

By Creeper - 20/02/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I accidentally liked my ex's new partner's photo while stalking them on social media. Now I have to decide between pretending it never happened if they happened to notice, or sending a fruit basket with a note that says, "Sorry for the accidental like. It's not you; it's muscle memory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 673

Call the cops

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my fiancé bought my engagement ring with money he earned by selling my nudes to online perverts. I don’t even know how or when he took those photos, I’ve never ever allowed him to take photos of me naked. It’s disgusting FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 135

That's one expensive hat

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I went off-roading with a group of people. I'd been to wearing a $250 hat while my brother was driving at least 60mph in the dirt, it flew off my head. When I returned to go retrieve it, someone had taken it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 932

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 87

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 103

Teambuilding

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was so nervous introducing myself to my new team, I actually mispronounced my own name, badly, and now that’s how everyone refers to me, but again, I’m too nervous to correct anyone. It’s been a week already, so correcting them now would be extra weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 527

Doofus

By Burned - 11/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 988

Sounds like an FML commenter

By Megan M - 25/08/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me. I was extremely devastated, and was crying in my room. My mom told me that it’s not a reason to cry. Apparently, “There’s people out there without anything to eat, nowhere to live, and people dying of cancer - that’s a REAL reason to cry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 143

Happy birthday

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 228

Piss poor performance

By kelsey - 02/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, if I need to pee, I have less than a minute to get to a toilet before I pee myself. It’s been like that since I was a kid and my family won’t stop making fun of me for not growing out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 113

We've all been there

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 06:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I thought about her again. I want her back, even though I know I shouldn't. She did a lot to hurt me, but did even more to love me. Sometimes I just want the old her back, if that's even possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 448

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 109

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

The Top

Today, a girl I was dating broke up with me for her previous fling. She was scared of committing to a relationship, even though she ended it with him for me. But now she would rather be with this other guy in secret, who is married, and has no plans on being with her for long term. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 205

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 254

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's. His father was with him the whole entire time. He's 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 280

You deserved it 2 352

Today, my first and only true date ended with the girl saying, "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 2 494

Today, a friend of mine told me, after coming over to my house for years, that she has tiny "bugs" that are attached to her and follow her wherever she goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 123

Today, I was taking the subway home when some entitled fuck called me a "junkie", all because I'm long-haired and have my arms covered in tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 228