A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Spicy
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 418
You deserved it 11 365
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Emmy_m92 0

Apparently, you couldn't rise to the occasion.

95 2

Comments

perdix 29

You're probably gay. Get some bloke to bend over and part his cheeks for you and then see if your equipment works. Once you've calibrated your unit, you can head off on the proper orientation.

5 23
perdix 29

It's just Occam's Razor -- the simplest solution is usually the best one. I'm just thinking like a scientist, not a troll.

4 11
Sirin_fml 46

I think the OP needs some Occam's Viagra. It doesn't get much simpler than that.

0 0
RedPillSucks 31

From virginity to a 4hr woody in one easy step.

7 2
perdix 29

Young guys don't need Viagra. Healthy older guys don't need it, either. Viagra is for guys who are trying to **** their fat, ugly wives. The OP's missile may be failing to launch because he may be attempting to insert in into the orifices of the wrong gender.

4 13
alexandrox 0

not necisseraly I had one time I couldnt get it up with this hot girl cuz I was Way to exited n nervous (of getting) caught n other stuff it was a mix of emotions all weird...I'm still straight

0 0
perdix 29

There are a lot of possible reasons it could have happened. What scientific research is showing and what I believe is that sexual orientation is an inborn trait, not a choice. (I didn't choose to like girls, I just always have -- I don't pat myself on the back for my "choice" to be heterosexual, because I never made one.) So, one possible reason that the OP had trouble is that inside he knows he's gay, but is trying to conform to society's norms by pretending to be straight. Maybe the experiment I mention earlier was a bit extreme, but this is a humor site, not Dr. Phil.

2 8
MrBoredomioo 18

Does no one notice this is a perdix comment?

2 0
random_name2 1

Ya same thing happened to me my first time. I managed to get it up though, went soft a couple times during though. It didn't help that I was high as hell off weed-brownies and couldn't even feel my dick... But ya, just relax, get her to kiss and tease ur neck and stomach, or more if she's willing..

1 11
mfmylifesrsly 29

DUDE! my ex kept going limp on our first time from damn weed so I had to go down on him every time it happened to get it back up lol

1 11
_krispy 0

could u tell us that story again, do u have time? But now with a little more umph in it

0 0
mola_mola 3

there was no "umph" in this story, he couldn't get it hard for long enough for the umph to start :P

1 0
schalk 12

Liar. It makes you last longer NOTE : I'm not advocating the use of drugs, just stating a fact. Drugs are bad mmkay?

0 0
starile 19

AHAHAHAHJAJAJAAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAJAJAHAHA yes I am laughing at OP in at least two languages.

8 15
DocBastard 38

I don't understand. Couldn't get it up? What is "it?" His blood sugar? His interest rate?

21 4
RedPillSucks 31

His interest rate. You know how things are in this economy.

14 0
W4X 0

Sarcasm is quite funny, and I am glad you took advantage of that, Doc,

1 1
Geicogecko 2

I hope your kidding. and if you are you just made an ass of yourself but if your not your pretty much just plain stupid. its a lose-lose situation

1 8
sassypants93 17

It is fairly obvious that he is kidding. How did he make an ass of himself? I think YOU'RE the stupid one here. Do you see the difference yet?

6 1
maryldean 1

oops.... nvm... thought i was commenting on something else... so srry.

0 1
maryldean 1

he couldnt get a boner... since no one else is clearing this up...

0 5
sourgirl101 28

Frankie says "Relax" don't do it. Oops.... wait.... that song's about coming not boner failure. Oh well, I'm sure you'll have trouble in that department too.

1 7
ellamegan 0

its perfectly normal, next time prepare yourself first make sure you get some foreplay in for BOTH of you ;)

4 0