Friends, Birthday and Dentist: Birthday Girl

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413 867

You deserved it 21 871

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 881

You deserved it 3 588

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 982

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 135

You deserved it 4 243

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 129

By misswhiskers - 28/02/2011 11:21 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 087

You deserved it 3 368

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 872

You deserved it 10 532

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 178

You deserved it 3 293

Billy no-mates

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 02:01

Today, I feel both happy and jealous of my father. It's his birthday and he has received over 100 times more phone calls than me. I'd had two: one from my local bank manager and one from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 285

By EKG - 11/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 732

You deserved it 2 595

By hopeless - 08/04/2011 15:03

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 3 998

xyzstephzyx 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

best friend...? Yeah, right. punch her in the mouth, that *****. happy birthday!

Aetius_fml 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

At least you have a cool dentist

Comments

Susanbelle12 0

Tuesday 6 July 2010 3:20

Oooooh that sucks xP

green2346 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 4:31

what you do is cuss out your friend then you keep the ring

Shadowkeiichi 0

Friday 27 August 2010 3:05

everyone doesnt know the rules of spelling Fiance or Fiancee deal with it. and i agree, FYL.

valpnlh18 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 1:35

Go **** up the bitch. lol

teeheelicious 2

Friday 10 December 2010 8:24

ur fiance is an ass and ur best friend is whory bitch. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Stophel 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 16:55

Your dentist could be your new fiance! After all, he does send you cards.

UhLeeUh 6

Wednesday 29 December 2010 10:14

Happy birthday. I love you. :)

Saby54321 0

Friday 7 January 2011 1:41

Your fiancée is a man slore, your best friend is a jealous **** and the dentist office is most likely out to get you :)

XxKyttixX 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 8:37

awww =[ what dick holes. on your birthday too... just wait for karma to kick their ass.

Playa13 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:53

Happy birthday

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 053

You deserved it 8 438

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 606

You deserved it 9 592

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 462

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

Today, I went to see a psychiatrist for my depression and low self esteem. While in the waiting room, I overheard a guy telling his friend how ugly I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 594

You deserved it 4 050

Today, while on vacation, I got fired for not working a shift I wasn't scheduled for. Even after texting my boss a copy of my vacation approval letter, she still fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 042

You deserved it 336

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 128

You deserved it 3 476