Friends, Birthday and Dentist: Birthday Girl - FML

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413 847

You deserved it 21 866

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Same thing different taste

By andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 880

You deserved it 3 588

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 982

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 134

You deserved it 4 243

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 129

By misswhiskers - 28/02/2011 11:21 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 086

You deserved it 3 368

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 871

You deserved it 10 531

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 178

You deserved it 3 293

Billy no-mates

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 02:01

Today, I feel both happy and jealous of my father. It's his birthday and he has received over 100 times more phone calls than me. I'd had two: one from my local bank manager and one from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 285

By EKG - 11/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 730

You deserved it 2 595

By hopeless - 08/04/2011 15:03

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 571

You deserved it 3 998

Next

Top comments

xyzstephzyx 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

best friend...? Yeah, right. punch her in the mouth, that *****. happy birthday!

Aetius_fml 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 23:04

At least you have a cool dentist

Comments

MariaAlamia12 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 18:59

If i was yuh i wuld of tracked her down nd kick her asswhore ass bitch d

xxkara29 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 19:18

yay dentist's office!

DaMachk 11

Friday 23 December 2011 11:56

At least someone remembered...

DontCLickOnMe456 0

Monday 9 January 2012 1:20

This us the funniest thing I have read...

AssassinsCRB 0

Friday 20 January 2012 6:58

Sell the ring

LyssusX 2

Wednesday 8 February 2012 23:09

Happy birthday :c

mzamii 0

Saturday 11 February 2012 15:02

Wow what a shit way to celebrate your birthday!!! Damnnn I feel for ya

suzielicious 0

Friday 17 February 2012 2:45

Punch them all in the mouth except for the dentist

thefmlman2011 36

Wednesday 22 February 2012 8:20

at least you got a happy birthday....

SuperMeLiSsA97 6

Sunday 26 February 2012 2:42

Best fml yet . But seriously slap a bitch !

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Keywords

Kids Babysitter Cute Dogs Health Skincare Doctor Hospital Emergency Love AITA Awkward Vacation Engagement ring Social Media Relatable Facebook Money Sex Scams Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Underwear Animals Halloween Fire First Dates Smells Scary

The Top

Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 88

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 924

You deserved it 3 536

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush out. Also today, she changed her Facebook status to "In a relationship." I'm so damn lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 305

Today, my boyfriend’s dog decided that his stomach needed a month’s supply of contacts more than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 626

You deserved it 324

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 1 059

Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 175

Today, I was reprimanded by my mom and her current man over my opinions on one of their church social friend's "homemade" lasagna. I didn't say anything, just took one bite, and ate no more. How politely do you say that you know full well she shoved Stouffer's frozen lasagna into the oven? I recognized it from just the smell! FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 172