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Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 528
You deserved it 11 518

Same thing different taste

Top comments

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

"Perform intercourse on me in a mildly rough manner..."

Comments

Yes, that's how you spot lgtbq individuals. We are averse to swearing and will refuse intercourse if we hear the word "****". Whoops.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Am I the only one who read that in a posh English accent?

TxCountryBeauty 10

No matter how close or intimate you are getting you should always maintain your composure of being a lady. I know when I say words like that (which I solely do as a complete joke around my boyfriend) I always get that yucky feeling of disgust because of that language. Instead try telling him what to do... I.E. "put it in baby, it would feel soooo amazing!"

I chortled. I'm imagining a very posh, proper girl, shouting "soooo".

Txcountrybeauty, What century are you living in? I'm a heck of a lot older than most of you but, I know how to make my man happy! If not, we wouldn't have been married almost 25 years!

TxCountryBeauty 10

Umm there's nothing wrong with not being looked at as an ignorant language deprived person... I was always taught that to curse is to show ignorance because you lack the knowledge to use a better word... Be a lady find some more interesting ways to tell your man that you want to have sex and spice it up in a way that isn't derogatory.

now that's a load of bullshit If I've ever seen one

Sinkhole 26

49 - Something like, "Oh, baby, put your fun stick inside my lady parts"? You would just need to add the "inner goddess", and we would have a real-life example of 50 Shades of Grey.

The only thing I agree with is whats been said before, that OP should have known by now if he doesnt like that word. As for the fact of not cursing during sex, not everyone does it Im sure. But guys want a lady in the streets,and a freak in the bed, not a lady in bed. Well except for OPs boyfriend, and Sheldon Cooper. Sex is done right when you're making love to who you love, cursing should be the least of your thoughts during it!

TxCountryBeauty 10

I've never read 50 shades of grey but no, my only point is to express yourself better... No one seems to understand that. I love being descriptive with my man telling him where I want him to grab me and how I want him to make love to me. if I want him to pick me up and throw me against the wall ill say it. It always makes for more interesting, passionate, mind blowing sex.

StaceyMichelle 5

Honey, look at what you're wearing in your profile photo, and then try telling me you're a proper lady.

TxCountryBeauty 10

So because I'm comfortable in my body and don't mind dressing sexy every once in a while I'm not a lady? And people ask me what century I'm from... I don't know one person that wouldn't wear something like that if they had the body to do it. I wore that on a special night out for my boyfriend and I promise he loved every second of it.

85, There's dressing sexy and then there's dressing trashy. They're not the same.

CharresBarkrey 15

TxCountryBeauty- Curse words are only bad because people made them to be bad. There's nothing actually wrong with them. You know this, yes?

Less is more remember, leave something to the imagination :) I know my boyfriend is the only guy I'd want seeing my boobs and my bum, dressing all sexy is way more special and fun that way :) but that's just me

85- I have the body to do it, but that doesn't mean I'M gonna dress like that and make it my profile picture on the Internet. If you wore it for your boyfriend on a special night it probably shouldn't be your profile picture. And please, just stop. Seriously. If us ladies wanna talk dirty to our men and tell them to **** us hard or fast we'll do it, we don't need somebody like you telling us to "Speak like a lady." But thanks.

Fully agree with 147... I always said and applied: "Treat them like royalty, **** them like ******" ... And so far, no complaints.. Just loads of pleasure - free and unbounded verbally or physically...

BubbleGrunge 18

Real women say ****! Also, you may have worn it for your boyfriend, but now all of the Internet can see it. Not so special, huh?

cmb8280 24

TECHNICALLY, adding all of the "curse" words to your vocabulary gives you a broader vocabulary. Cause, you know, more words :)

Thank you 156, at least somebody knows what I'm sayin'.

#175 I am sure that people have thumbed you down because of some perceived transgression ( most likely the 'cause'), but I can see you were playing around with the shortening of the word. You beat me to it as well as the other commenter with the allocation of meaning to the words. Words only mean what we believe them to mean through social understanding, mass collusion and acceptance. A chair is not intrinsically known as a 'chair'. We didn't discover it's name, we gave it one. By the same token words are just words, the meaning comes from the person receiving the word, not the one announcing it ( though meaning can be intended and communicated, it is up to the listener to interpret). Therefore if people are offended by the 'f' or 'c' word then it is their meaning that gives it sting and they should look to their own minds as to why they find that offensive. The word itself carries offence only by way of interpretation. Unless this was a control based role play, structured around a permissive/ punishment/teacher/boss scenario, I would find the prudish nature of someone so offended by a simple word to be a real turn off. Personally I would prefer a woman to gasp in my ear "**** me hard and pull my hair' rather than 'I want you inside of me'. It sounds a little too 'Heathcliffe-on-the-moors-Tess-of-the- d'Urbervilles ' for my liking. Next time he does something that doesn't meet your hopefully high standards, explain to him slowly what he needs to do to permit you to go on. Hopefully this happens in the middle of a bj, so you can teach him some lessons. Then get drunk, open everyone else's presents and pass out on the lounge.

This sounds like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. Definitely something he would say! And oh yeah, if he can stop sex to tell you he doesnt like those words in such a calmly matter, you're not doing it right in bed. Ho Ho Hoolrighty then!

perdix 29

Would you please initiate coitus with me? Bazinga!

Hold on let me put my biochemical suit on, to engage in such a dangerous roll of disgusting excitment I need more than just a condom. BAZINGA!

perdix 29

Oh, Amy Farrah Fowler, you're so cute . . . and prudent!

Oh be very careful Sheldon Cooper, I get pretty caraazy!

Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty little ball of fur! Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty purr purr purr!

"Oh F*** me" "Oh I mean fudge me.. Sorry"

This makes me feel way more fortunate. My lover always teases until I say those exact words. I appreciate the passion more now.

If he doesn't want to continue, finish by yourself, uttering obscenities the whole time. Then see how long it takes him to get over it.