Sex and Intimacy: Lifeless

Lifeless

By Motionless - 26/05/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 094

You deserved it 23 795

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Same thing different taste

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 8 664

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 433

By conductingfromthegrave - 01/07/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 411

You deserved it 4 584

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 389

You deserved it 8 019

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 481

You deserved it 6 832

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 1 790

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 693

You deserved it 29 887

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 5 974

Talk to her!

By Anonymoys - 06/04/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom

Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 404

By rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 509

You deserved it 6 082

kg163401 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 15:55

I dub thee corpse ******

yazah 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:53

Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)

Comments

khaya 9

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:33

It helps when foreplay doesn't include you hitting her on the head with a lamp.

kg163401 0

Friday 27 May 2011 5:54

this guy's a genius

planetsmurf 6

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:36

are you sure your not mistaking your pillow for your girlfriend?

llCHR15ll 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:47

try a bit of ear sex???

Dcmachead 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:40

get a new girlfriend

alexFYL 11

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:41

is she dead?

Leetswaglordmaybe2 9

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:43

get a new GF your's must be broken

keischlamarie 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:45

that SUCKS

a11dayidream 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:47

hahaa

403_SRB 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:47

is her name jerri-lynn by any chance???

zzzBOLTzzz 1

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:48

OP, sex dolls aren't girlfriends...

Ann23 7

Thursday 26 May 2011 16:49

why don't you speak up and ask her about it? if it's been seven times you would think you would say something by now.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, and for months now, the meds that stop me from killing myself have killed my sex drive. My boyfriend, being stressed at work, initially assured me that his was also non existent and not to worry. I found out he's been wanking every day and hiding it from me so I don't feel bad. Now I know, I feel fucking awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 651

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 355

You deserved it 8 605

The Top

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 968

You deserved it 30 305

Today, my 30-year old cousin, who is unemployed, parasitic and never completed high-school, whose girlfriend is a crack addict, wants to move into my place. He was evicted from an apartment building two weeks ago for assaulting some neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 86

Today, I was at work, finishing a presentation for my boss. Five minutes after I presented it to him, his boss walked in and asked for the same presentation I had just given. My boss presented it. His boss then turned to me and asked me, "What use are you around here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 748

You deserved it 2 878

Today, my mom yelled at me for fighting with my younger brother. Not because she wanted us to stop, but because my brother couldn't find a good comeback to my argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 453

You deserved it 273

Today, I took my driving test. I was nervous, but I thought I followed the rules of the road pretty well. My tester ended up failing me for "backing out too slowly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 256

You deserved it 308

Today, I was drying my duvet and pillows in the dryer. Apparently, one of the pillows was memory foam, which I was not aware of. It caught on fire due to the heat and nearly burned down my laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 840

Lifeless

Same thing different taste

Narcolepsy

Honest

Fast and Furious

Time is money

Talk to her!

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