Pregnancy and Love: Nice try, Sharon

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 269

You deserved it 5 503

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 527

You deserved it 1 988

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 139

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 4 657

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 11:40

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 584

You deserved it 1 764

How could you?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2024 05:00

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 153

By thissucks - 20/06/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 617

You deserved it 6 907

Condom advertisement

By Willow McGarrigle - 30/05/2020 02:00

Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 146

By Dumped and pregnant - 01/05/2018 05:00

Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 740

You deserved it 546

By xOdaatx - 26/09/2011 13:01 - Australia

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 504

You deserved it 3 059

By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 2 626

NandaPanda 22

Thursday 10 July 2014 22:55

Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.

titandesu 14

Thursday 10 July 2014 22:56

wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Friday 11 July 2014 2:03

She seems to be cray cray

modet 8

Friday 11 July 2014 2:11

take her to hospital to get official report. who knows what gonna happen later.

Curlytwirly22 17

Friday 11 July 2014 2:18

Stay away from her and ignore her and if she tells you anything or tries to contact you in any possible way call the police or get a restraining order

Callmeseansaur 9

Friday 11 July 2014 2:23

You should probably approach someone about getting her some help. She is clearly not in a good state of mind to pull something like that. Maybe talk to some of her friends, or a sibling or a parent.

reburkah 17

Friday 11 July 2014 2:25

You do know you can get pregnant on your period right?

LisaDay 14

Friday 11 July 2014 20:20

If you read it, she was not on her period when they had sex. She was on her period when they broke up. Reading comprehension must not be you're strong suit.

Nyahko 16

Friday 11 July 2014 2:52

easy solution go buy a pregnancy test & tell her to take it at your place make her leave her purse outside of the bathroom while she's taking it & come out of the bathroom right after peeing on it if it comes out positive tell her you'll be wanting a paternity test asap & that even if she is pregnant you won't be getting back together

krunchy_kitty 8

Friday 11 July 2014 3:09

Why let her go to the bathroom by herself? They've had sex, so plenty of naked and smelly has already happened. Surely she can pee in front of him.

Nyahko 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 5:53

some people can't pee in front of others i personally can't even pee if my cat is outside the bathroom door

xoteeshaox 22

Friday 11 July 2014 2:53

firstly, the timing makes sense if she was pregnant. two weeks before a girls period, is when she is ovulating, meaning the timing definitely makes sense. secondly, the fake pregnancy test is just a cruel joke. hang in there.

xoteeshaox 22

Friday 11 July 2014 4:05

and reconfirming other comments, you can still have your period while pregnant. a friends mum had two of her kids and her period the entire way through the pregnancy.

ooft 8

Friday 11 July 2014 2:56

And I thought I had a crazy ex

DylanHasClass 17

Friday 11 July 2014 3:00

Maury!

ober80 6

Friday 11 July 2014 3:32

Get her back by emailing her parents and congratulating them on becoming grandparents and then send another to her entire family and friends announcing this happy occasion.