Love, Weird, Awkward, Cooking and Pizza: Sounds like a keeper

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Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 15:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 832

You deserved it 11 900

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

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Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 120

You deserved it 64 163

Pizza > Love

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 105

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 487

You deserved it 8 201

Sounds like a keeper

By ManChildBF - 03/03/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 148

Run, run away pronto

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 08:01

Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 205

We'll just order out

By Lili - 22/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 267

Give me a break

By anon - 18/02/2023 06:00

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 203

Prince Charming

By muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 358

By fatgirl - 16/05/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 024

You deserved it 10 736

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 206

You deserved it 7 393

laurenlovesjb 20

Thursday 11 April 2013 18:48

Does he have potholders or oven mits? If he does and just doesn't use them, he's stupid. If he doesn't have them, he's still stupid. Who does that?

olpally 32

Thursday 11 April 2013 18:49

You can't fix stupid. My god... Don't breed with him.

Comments

beehardxcore 26

Thursday 11 April 2013 20:13

Natural selection, at its very finest...

kemic 7

Thursday 11 April 2013 22:00

No, I think if natural selection was working properly, they wouldn't have been dating for 2 weeks already.

TDWPForDayz 9

Thursday 11 April 2013 20:21

I just had to favorite this. I can just imagine this LOL why didn't he use like you know...POTHOLDERS or something to protect his hands

frethelt 3

Thursday 11 April 2013 20:24

the question is, did he have pot holders, and choose not to use them, or did he not have pot holders.. in which case op should take him to the store and show him what its for ;) i used to get stuff out of the oven with my hands, inless it was in pan, then id use a napkin like a pot holder

kaedynsmom0325 13

Thursday 11 April 2013 20:26

Should have threw him some oven mitts afterwards and said BURN..!

supermann13_fml 11

Thursday 11 April 2013 20:28

That's hilarious because I just made pizza!

Dairyking 8

Friday 12 April 2013 2:48

That's hilarious because I've got a frappuccino! And frappuccinos are cold. Fires get rid of cold. Wood burns to make fire. Paper comes from wood. We write on paper. Typing is like writing, and now I'm typing this comment. That must be why this post is hilarious!