Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 922

You deserved it 798 793

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 876

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 179

You deserved it 10 862

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 627

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 795

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

MR_OHCRAP 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 13:04

Tell you why I like being the responsible one that doesn't drink, has fun, but still has to drive all the drunk friends home and get them to sober down a little? I don't get into stupid shit like this. If your drunk, you basically lose all your thinking skills. That is why I have a good gf that isn't crazy like the one you laid and get it good from her. And remember, even though it doesn't feel natural, you get the same amount of fun with the ol' rubber or not.

kitteh 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 14:35

For all the people whinging about condoms and pulling out and yap yap yap i love that my gf is on the pill :-D

mina13_fml 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 15:12

what the **** man....I am so sorry for you. That's just ******!

rawrbitch11 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 16:01

haha did she buy the drinks? lolz she seduced u...now ur her baby daddy!!!

whydoibother 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 16:31

umm, for those of you saying the pullout method is quite effective if done correctly.... no, it isn't. There is precum on the penis as soon as it is erect in most cases, and before ejaculation even occurs more precum can come out. Precum is still sperm. Therefore the only way to effectively not get pregnant without some form of tangible birth control is to not have sex. wrap it up every time, or be ready to be a parent. take responsibility

LAgirl_fml 1

Sunday 14 June 2009 17:43

Maybe you gave her a baby to be and/or maybe she gave you HIV,hadn't you think about it???

14hatemachine 2

Sunday 14 June 2009 17:47

LOL #842, you read her like a book haha

eliz3 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 17:56

#9 you're an idiot.

felipelalli_fml 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 18:32

UAHEUAHEUAHUEHAUE

wtf_mate009 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 19:11

Apparently no one reads.. The pull out method IF USED CORRECTLY has a proven effectiveness of 98% which is the same as condoms. And if you say "well my friend used it and she still got pregnant".. Then you can't read and he can't pull out fast enough. Many couples have used the method effectively for years before they decided to have children. So.. F your Life people, you’re all retarded.