Intimacy: Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included....

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 74 080

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Same thing different taste

Backhanded

By kiwi - 13/02/2009 19:24 - United Kingdom

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 412

You deserved it 5 609

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 484

You deserved it 7 755

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 919

You deserved it 11 084

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 258

Downhill from here

By forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 746

You deserved it 9 859

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 806

You deserved it 4 729

What are the odds?

By pchis4ever - 20/11/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 627

You deserved it 37 130

By Anonymous - 05/02/2012 15:45 - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 893

You deserved it 5 070

By confusedcatlover - 06/04/2013 11:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 279

You deserved it 6 222

Wizardo 33

Thursday 12 September 2013 9:02

Was it finger lickin' good though? If not you should turn on the damn lights next time...

bellydancer82 15

Thursday 12 September 2013 9:04

I feel like too much of this story is missing....

Comments

soapmactavish82 8

Thursday 12 September 2013 19:48

I'm sorry

jrock9093 18

Thursday 12 September 2013 20:49

Really you want sympathy for having sex with some one you chose to have sex with! Your an idiot or a **** you chose!

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 12 September 2013 21:10

Just got home from work? Halloween costume?...follow up would be appreciated

Gingerette 8

Thursday 12 September 2013 21:23

... Why?

justin w 4

Thursday 12 September 2013 22:00

At least you got the experiencer, that is other person hardly to get.

ulissey_fml 22

Thursday 12 September 2013 22:09

Isn't it what KFC is for, getting a little bit on the side? Or is it bite ? ( no French pun intended here )

sora1616 8

Thursday 12 September 2013 23:11

Did you get a discount???

KaylaTackett 18

Thursday 12 September 2013 23:18

I don't feel sorry for you. Why would you do it if you're ashamed of it?

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Thursday 12 September 2013 23:32

Doesn't matter. Had sex.

archertheo 15

Thursday 12 September 2013 23:35

You better believe it! You don't work the shaft and craddle the balls to not get popcorn chicken!

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The Top

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 81

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5 mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh… I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 007

You deserved it 47 415

The Top

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 2 861

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 715

You deserved it 6 476

Today, after months of putting up with it, I finally asked my manager not to put me on shifts with this old guy who is racist, sexist and lazy. This was how I found out that he died over the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 658

You deserved it 1 740

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 021

You deserved it 2 079

Today, I learned that you can actually sprain your groin for real. It hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 135

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 561

You deserved it 8 721