Health: Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies...

By Mandy - 26/03/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 937

You deserved it 4 018

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Same thing different taste

Agoraphobic

By jaya - 03/05/2022 12:00

Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 189

He who controls the spice controls the universe

By Anonymous - 01/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 523

By Anonymous - 06/11/2012 18:34 - United States - Erie

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 177

You deserved it 3 413

By mexicandelicacy - 04/03/2012 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 683

You deserved it 6 270

By Gross - 21/07/2013 23:20 - United States - Houston

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 892

You deserved it 3 940

By iHateWorms - 23/12/2009 03:52 - Australia

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 33 690

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 951

You deserved it 365

By effingawwesome - 11/04/2009 18:52 - United States

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 617

You deserved it 56 610

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 6 543

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

buck33 14

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:16

That meal sounds disgusting. End of story.

ihatethesenamez 6

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:17

School food is hella nasty

Comments

kerrwoof 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:25

Cafeteria food isn't that bad, atleast at my old high school it was good. But why would you ever try something called "seafood taco salad"? That even sounds toxic!

PYLrulz 17

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:35

Agreed. The food at my school wasn't that bad, hell, the pizzas were damn good. But I guess it varies from school to school

BlackBlazeCobra 16

Tuesday 27 March 2012 10:21

My school's food was delicious. I could die for their chicken fingers, paninis, mozzarella sticks and fries. They know how to cook right. Everyone avoided the hot dogs like the plague though. I would've honestly ran the other way if they made a seafood taco salad.

tanay97 8

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:26

And that is why you avoid cafeteria food!

mjoyn98 1

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:27

Seafood taco salad? Why in the world would you try that!

rattusrattus 18

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:06

It's probably the same urge that lead to the invention of bungee jumping, really hot sauce, and cosmetic trepanning.

I_Hug_Cats 26

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:28

Just the name is enough... *hides*

Luke1717 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:31

My cafeteria makes pretty good food (Well before everything wasn't baked anyways) but they overprice it. Like $4 for a small poutine that contains about 8-10 fries... Literally. (Yes, I am Canadian, I love poutine)

Mearemoi 14

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:33

...And that my friends, is why you should not approach anything that has seafood, taco, and salad in the same sentence.

FrankHotpants 31

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:34

I'm sure it was terrible, although prison food and the stuff we eat in the navy is labeled "not for human consumption" which doesn't make you feel very good but hell I've been eating it for years.

rattusrattus 18

Tuesday 27 March 2012 6:57

Big difference between "things humans can eat" and "safe for human consumption on a regular basis". In the first category you get things like dirt, coffin handles, MDF, value-price frozen readymeals...

Muffin_boo 12

Wednesday 16 January 2013 1:40

If the food is labeled not for human consumption then why do you have to eat it? Also, is this on base or out at sea??

CTVrhythmguitari 8

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:37

If I could find a food dish that made you suffer a worse pain then having all of your limbs slowly twisted one by one until they snapped, I just might become religious again.