For all the people saying OP deserved it, and should've kept his son: What if it was a closed adoption and OP had to search for him? What if OP didn't have the means until now? Would you rather the baby have been aborted or left on the street to die? Grow up, people!

Wow, what's with all the YDIs? People are so heartless in this world, I fear for future generations. I had a friend who had to give her son up for adoption because she had no way to support him, but she still got to see him from time to time. OP probably had the same situation, and he was thinking about his son's well-being rather than himself, so putting him up for adoption was probably the best thing to do so he could get the care he needed. I do wonder where the mother is, but that's beside the point. So all you people saying YDI need to grow up and look at it from OP's perspective.

my mom gave me up for adoption when I was 3. almost 2 decades later ive gotten into 3 fist fights cus she wanted to "be in my life" promise that it won't get better for you

I'm so sorry! I met my dad for the first time, and I understand why sometimes adoption is the best choice for your child. I just hope your son can come to understand that so you can build a relationship. Good luck!

Like all the other people who have asked why there are so many YDI's, I have to ask the same question. We don't know the reasons for the father putting his son up for adoption. But let me say this, at least this man took the appropriate avenues in an attempt to make his child's life a better one. He could have been like many deadbeat dads who escape from the mom and child and leave them with nothing. He coulda been the alcoholic who came home in an angry fit to beat up on them both. No. For whatever reason, he went the extra mile to make sure his child was taken care of. And now he's trying to get in touch with his kid. Okay, it's 20 years later. Again, you don't know why it's taken him so long. Some adoption records are sealed even from the parents. Maybe he signed an agreement that he couldn't go near his son til he was 18, and has spent the last two years trying to find them again. But wait, none of you YDI's considered that possibility. At least this guy's trying to make an attempt to make amends. Op, FYL.

I don't know why there are all the deserve it on this one, we don't know why he was put up for adoption and no one deserves to be punched in that manner, Just seen the comment above is exactly the same.

FYL. Kudos for taking this step, though. Even if you never become friendly, you can answer his questions and maybe soothe some emotional scars. edit: Reading some of these comments makes me really sad. People are so stupid.

To the OP, don't give up hope. He will probably come around eventually. Imagine going through your life thinking that your birthparents didn't want you. That may not be the case but that's likely how he feels. You may want to try writing a letter explaining how you feel and why you made the decision that you made. As an adoptive parent in an open adoption, I've learned a lot about adoption cases and can say that adoption is rarely an easy choice. Even junkies are usually curious about what happened to their child at some point in their life. Unfortunately, open adoptions are still fairly new but are gaining in popularity. My son will always know that he was adopted and know the reasons why.

well, you did give him away so what did you expect. he wasn't gonna welcome you with open arms.

just goes to show, your past actions can come back to bite you in the ass... or punch you in the face, whatever.