Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because...

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 10:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 954

You deserved it 9 593

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 4 329

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 659

You deserved it 4 924

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 309

You deserved it 8 391

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 888

You deserved it 4 884

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 948

You deserved it 4 467

Good question

By epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 125

You deserved it 13 205

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 481

You deserved it 29 026

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 491

You deserved it 3 698

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 560

You deserved it 7 395

By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 222

You deserved it 4 248

tehhotness 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:11

Your grandpa rules

McZeal 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:24

grandpa's a pimp

Comments

Tri_fml 5

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:06

Yeah definite *high five* for the grandpa. Seriously rofl :D

Bryan_Z 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:13

great guy rofl

whereisbob_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:14

this is why grandpas are awsome!!!!! i aspire to be like this man :P

birds_fml 7

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:18

You have the best grandpa ever! Old people are so awesome. I want to be crazy and not care when I get old.

alex_smokin_okin 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:25

this story is faker than Kim kardashians ****

calmthefuck_down 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:27

i hate tongue piercings.

bipolarchipmunk 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:28

It's like Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine!

thekreeperkeeper 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:30

grandpa FTW!!!!! not an FML though, your Dad maybe: "Today I was at my parents with my teen daughter and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend had said he could not eat, as he had just gotten his tounge pierced. My father then winks at him and says "Can't eat now but I'd bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks" My dad made a joke about some kid eating out my daughter right in front of me. FML"

vox_temperantia 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 21:35

#17: You know, very little of this stuff popped up overnight. They may not have talked about it but even the seemingly most repressed societies did all sorts of crazy stuff.