Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 105

You deserved it 7 022

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 318

You deserved it 3 185

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 024

You deserved it 11 617

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 437

You deserved it 8 032

By Scorned - 16/09/2018 06:00

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 859

You deserved it 347

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 152

You deserved it 7 122

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 465

You deserved it 9 862

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 090

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 756

You deserved it 5 994

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 00:02

Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 841

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 546

You deserved it 8 866

fudgepirate 0

Monday 17 January 2011 9:07

be happy that u have a big dick!! many guys would be jealous!

FistFightingJesu 0

Monday 17 January 2011 9:12

say "bitch relax, we'll make it fit."

Comments

xoxo_cherri_xoxo 6

Monday 17 January 2011 19:26

... sex before she's ever touched or seen your dick? at least she didn't laugh and say 'what's the point? I won't be able to feel little pinky there anyway.'

kyrintethron 0

Monday 17 January 2011 19:32

That seems like a pretty good problem to have.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 17 January 2011 19:33

****-blocked by your own ****. Oh the irony!!!

FinnMcCool 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:25

hahaha!!!

GingerFro 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:05

lmao!!

prettypinkpixie 9

Monday 17 January 2011 20:27

I'm thinking you're probably too young to be concidering having sex if thats the reaction you got from your girlfriend. If you're both mature and ready then I doubt she would have reacted so scared.

CandeeCane 0

Monday 17 January 2011 20:31

that is soo not an FML more like a compliment... yes fyl for no sex, but yay you for the reason why!! find a girl who can handle it.... wait unless you know you're small and that's why it's a fyl

xXSerpentXx 0

Monday 17 January 2011 21:04

Why would you be upset? That just means you're frighteningly endowed ;]

Watermelon2011 6

Monday 17 January 2011 21:22

daddy big dick! :)

Dez31396 0

Monday 17 January 2011 21:27

what does she mean 'break her' ?

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 17 January 2011 22:54

Remember Rocky (IV, V, .. XII, I can't remember) when he's boxing the russian played by Dolph Lundgren. *I vill break you* I think he meant it like that.