Love: Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about...

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 846

You deserved it 8 051

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 4 167

By mrs.nerd - 23/10/2011 12:38 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 060

You deserved it 4 533

Obsessed

By farmvillefail - 09/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 4 378

By Katie - 09/10/2012 05:42 - United States - Homewood

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 2 097

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 580

You deserved it 402

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 813

You deserved it 9 036

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 593

You deserved it 4 982

By Anon - 27/02/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 2 940

Monday Morning Blues

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 14:00

Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 150

By loser - 03/01/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 496

You deserved it 67 653

lolatflyingducks 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

Clearly, you have never played Farmville.

chadhilliard67 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:02

haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither

Comments

crazyb96 0

Friday 21 August 2009 3:28

Sounds like something my wife would do.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Friday 21 August 2009 3:55

This is stolen from the french FML site. Stolen AND retold wrong. It was the girl who ran off to take care of the virtual strawberries.

Enny_Naim 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:03

******* love farmville! How long does it take for things to whither anyway?

tick_tock 0

Friday 21 August 2009 6:29

However long it takes to grow. For example, blueberries grow in 4 hours, therefore you have another 4 hours after they are able to be harvested to collect them. So, if you have a 4 hour crop, you have 8 hours to harvest it.

ryan__h 1

Friday 21 August 2009 8:00

wtf???? you have 4 hours not 8 hours

TheJeninator 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:11

That sounds like something I would do. I've even gone so far as to call my friend to harvest my crops while I was away on vacation and didn't have a laptop with me.

inge_dude 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:14

It's totally your fault, if you were having anal sex I bet my right arm he wouldn't even think about any other shit else.

satanstoystore 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:21

marriage kills the spark in relationships. theres also an inverse relationship to attachment/******. when youre emotionally invested it often takes longer for the woman to ******. ydi for taking too long And getting married.

3arl 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:30

stop with dumbass sex distraction fmls there are that many fake!"oh me and my husband were having sex then he had to check something " big whoop

irrelevantxx 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:56

LMFAOOOOO

btyfuldisastr 0

Friday 21 August 2009 5:00

omg this made my life. me and my bf are currently addicted to this game and we are currently trying to beat eachother..so even if we're in teh pool...if we realize what time it is we run inside and get our plants. (normally rasberries since it helps you level up and get money) bahah lame.