Intimacy: Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on...

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 094

You deserved it 7 171

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Same thing different taste

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 918

You deserved it 6 866

Romance

By shortyybrooke - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 718

You deserved it 537

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 05:56 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 151

You deserved it 7 832

Hot shit

By Well, shit - 07/12/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 18:28 - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 499

You deserved it 7 373

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 750

You deserved it 457

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 942

You deserved it 6 532

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 459

You deserved it 196

Sensitive

By airbiscuit - 21/01/2013 12:36 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 127

You deserved it 6 504

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 366

You deserved it 1 523

dalink 24

Friday 2 August 2013 1:42

So so so disgusting... And unhygienic.

Black_Rose97 9

Friday 2 August 2013 1:43

well isnt that a load of crap... anyone?

Comments

buddy51 23

Friday 2 August 2013 2:56

Do it, OP and your hubby will be singing "Plop, plop, ****, ****, oh what a relief it is!!" At least you'll be near the toilet when you vomit in wretched horror and disgust!!

ChakatBlackstar 29

Friday 2 August 2013 3:08

Any woman willing to do this, would have to truly love the guy.

kayteakay 26

Friday 2 August 2013 5:33

I truly live my husband, we've been through some horrible thing and I STILL wouldn't do this. Plus he's respectful enough not to ask.

chosha_fml 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 2:30

A woman who would agree to that has no self-respect and needs therapy. A guy who would ask for it should be divorced.

tarv 16

Friday 2 August 2013 3:13

Disgusting!!!!!!!

Enslaved 36

Friday 2 August 2013 3:20

"Love stinks-- yeah yeah (Love stinks)"

Obey_StudBoii 23

Friday 2 August 2013 3:22

That's sick.

my_user_name 7

Friday 2 August 2013 3:22

That is so gross... I wouldn't want my girlfriend/wife even in the same room when I'm taking a crap. Nothing is less sexy. Some guys get excited by the strangest things.