Miscellaneous: Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless...

By BerkeleyBiker - 19/04/2011 08:23 - United States

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 3 735

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Same thing different taste

By dadadoo - 06/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 866

You deserved it 3 331

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 819

You deserved it 6 815

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 304

You deserved it 3 228

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 701

You deserved it 3 928

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 025

You deserved it 6 023

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 413

You deserved it 911

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 728

You deserved it 4 350

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:36 - United States

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 099

You deserved it 2 882

Stay classy

By militarywife2b - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 164

You deserved it 2 232

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 855

You deserved it 775

I_See_Purple_Ppl 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:54

wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:55

It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.

Comments

docscientist 9

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:39

Ah, the best things in life truly are free.

niggsby 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:46

the Mcdonalds by the back alley isn't considered "a nice dinner out"

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Tuesday 19 April 2011 23:54

Hence why the man took pity on her and gave her a real 'nice dinner out.' OP is very ungrateful.

brine212 5

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:48

Maybe he thought you were hot and wanted to give you a gift. They say homemade ones are the best.

nillakush1 3

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:50

Just clean it off lol :P can't catch anything from boogers anyway!

MrGold 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:59

Bum fights

BellyDancinCheer 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 13:00

haha well i guess thats jus how hobo's get their kicks, be nice, they cant afford cable!

rebekahah 7

Tuesday 19 April 2011 13:07

5- win. ^_^

PeteyPablo12308 20

Tuesday 19 April 2011 13:23

Wow, that's gross and ******.

soketgo 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 13:39

he's gotta entertain himself sometimes...

Livinia 11

Tuesday 19 April 2011 13:40

There is something wrong with that man.

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The Top

Today, for an eight-hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 002

You deserved it 3 708

Today, as I experienced another bout of existential dread while trying to sleep, I declared that it would be the day I opened up to my family about the full extent of my mental health struggles. Also today, I didn't do it. Again. Because I'm anxious it may inconvenience them to worry about me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 146

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 616

You deserved it 43 271

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 307

You deserved it 7 277

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 9 787

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 222

You deserved it 5 730

Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 371

Today, I’m finally getting over a bad accident I had, and I'm allowed to start walking again. Alas, I’ve been flat on my back in a hospital bed for so many months, I’m having to get used to standing upright again. I get so dizzy from standing, I keep falling and hurting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 82

Same thing different taste

Basic communication

PTSD

Stay classy

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