Intimacy: Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be...

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 758

You deserved it 62 027

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 248

You deserved it 34 496

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 503

You deserved it 6 490

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 980

You deserved it 62 492

By sexyfail - 26/01/2010 08:59 - Australia

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 217

You deserved it 27 842

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 116

You deserved it 447

Stop! Hammertime!

By shotdown - 04/11/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 607

You deserved it 41 639

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 908

You deserved it 38 040

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 497

You deserved it 36 505

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 06:00

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 313

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 764

You deserved it 13 688

iluvhobos 5

Tuesday 1 March 2011 23:06

I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth

dmcp77 1

Tuesday 1 March 2011 23:15

braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.

Comments

FMLttp12 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 7:42

First of all how old are you? Because apparently you must be 12-like 16 if you have braces! Lmao! Haha my advice stop trying to be sexy ;)

atomicmrpelly 2

Thursday 3 March 2011 10:56

Braces? You're far too young to be having sex, YDI!

Eashag 3

Thursday 3 March 2011 20:45

249, Lol at the assumption that adults don't get braces.

Boxy 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 14:10

YDI for using the term " getting it on"

sharon_mic 2

Thursday 3 March 2011 21:54

even the though of it made me eww.. i don't believe you actually did that.. i feel so sorry for your bf.. i doubt if he's ever gonna forgive you.. you don't even look like you are sorry since you are posting it on fmylife and making a joke out of it

sakie_fml 0

Friday 4 March 2011 4:56

It wasn't that she didn't find his joke amusing. It was that she was being completely immature, rude and assuming things about him.

kalbrek009 20

Friday 4 March 2011 6:47

oh, everyone just grow up already... if you AREN'T @ least 18 years old, you are too young to have sex and it is illegal for you to have "consensual sex" as defined by law "consensual sex" is between 2 people of ADULT age (18+) otherwise it's known as "statutory rape", a jail-able offense in which you must register as a sex offender.