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Hey guys, OP here! Must confess, this actually happened to my mum, who really isn't a fan of weed. If it had happened to me it wouldnt have been such a big deal but for a middle class woman in her 40's its a bit of a shocking statement on a first date! That coupled with the fact he kept suggesting to her that they should get a hotel room was enough to send her running!

By NickySimpson - 30/04/2016 00:46 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I almost got fired for not following my boss on Twitter and Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 929

You deserved it 1 191

NickySimpson tells us more.

NickySimpson 17

Sunday 1 May 2016 2:56

Guys, I work at Cartoon Network as a storyboard artist where we joke a lot. Luckily, my boss was joking. Phew.

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 506

You deserved it 3 847

Looking for love in Alderaan places

By not4geeks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 708

You deserved it 74 016

Fresh!

By Leanna - 10/04/2017 12:00

Today, I cleaned my entire house. Ready for a fresh finishing touch in the bedroom, I grabbed the Febreze and lightly sprayed over my clean bedding, carpeting, and clothing. Then a pungent odor hit me. It seems someone forgot to label the bottle when they filled it with vinegar instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 141

You deserved it 704

By Karmas3itch - 12/05/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 928

You deserved it 6 772

By Nikki - 08/06/2019 22:00

Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 263

As a treat

By Undercooked - 24/09/2013 19:08 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 087

You deserved it 4 776

Lonesome Tonight

By Is_This_Real - 30/03/2016 20:46 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 121

You deserved it 1 529

The Patriarch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Mentor

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 541

You deserved it 4 350

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 973

You deserved it 2 597

By hollyglambert - 27/03/2016 17:21 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I went on my first date. When we got to the restaurant he started hitting on the waitress. As soon as we sat down he took out his iPod and watched a video, then took out his phone and went on Tinder. Then about a minute before the bill came he dissapeared to the bathroom for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 075

You deserved it 1 952

hollyglambert tells us more.

hollyglambert 19

Monday 28 March 2016 20:07

OP here. Thanks everyone. Don't worry I won't be seeing him again. Also responding to that one guy, I did not expect him to pay the bill however I would have liked to go halves instead of pay for us both. Anyways thanks guys :)

By fired - 17/09/2013 04:36 - United States - Barnesville

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 084

You deserved it 99 080