Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

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End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 922

You deserved it 798 793

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 876

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 179

You deserved it 10 862

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 627

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 795

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

desertkitt 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 21:36

Wow, YDI. As for the pull out method... when I was just dating my husband we tried that... turns out men cum throughout the sex act. Guess who's due in October?

Blackrose13 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 22:20

Falcon PAUNCH! Seriously though, that is ****** UP. Pull out method is only effective if you are not drunk and all, and is probably best used as a back up method at best(Like if a girl misses a pill) in a monogamous long term relationship. It does not protect against STDs, which you could now have. Plus you now have to worry about a kid. Smart move.

DrAwesome 6

Saturday 13 June 2009 22:28

Yaaaaay! This is, like, my favorite FML, and it has an illustration! That is awesome. :D

Fllyleaf 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 22:32

WTF? Are you like 14 or something? Did you never learn sex-ed? As soon as you put it in there is a chance of you getting her pregnant, it doesn't matter if you've cummed or not..

blacklily0103 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 10:17

omg if sperm hadn't come out yet she can't get pregnant!!

Sabbyrider12 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 22:32

my favorite fml by like.... A LOT

drinkupgorgeous 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 22:48

I ******* love the illustration. Sorry, YDI. Have fun going to all those Hannah Montana concerts in the future.

Blimy 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 22:48

actually 808, it's not once you stick it in, it's just if any pre-ejaculate or semen is expelled. How else is sperm supposed to get to the egg?

FcuksHorsesz 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:01

Nice......

heygirlheyyyyy 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:08

this illustration has NOTHING to do with the FML. who said it was at a bar? and who said she was fat and ugly? maybe she was beautiful. plus, those people look like aliens. Artist-fail.

heygirlheyyyyy 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:10

This illustration has absolutely NOTHING to do with the FML. Who said this happened at a bar? Who said the girl was fat and ugly; Who said she wasn't good looking? and really... these people look like aliens. Artist-FAIL.