Love: Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look... - FML

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By Kevin - 09/09/2011 12:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 203

You deserved it 42 950

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Same thing different taste

By insurgent - 03/05/2016 08:31 - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 565

You deserved it 2 078

By Anon - 14/08/2016 10:58 - United States - Tracy

Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 485

You deserved it 1 391

By Emily - 21/09/2012 01:39 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 177

You deserved it 2 024

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 905

You deserved it 46 481

By Casden - 13/09/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 220

You deserved it 3 551

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, while driving, I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 971

You deserved it 66 609

By sad - 24/04/2009 08:18 - United States

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 279

You deserved it 3 965

Denied

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 04:24 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 587

You deserved it 11 946

Not very neighborly

By Kris - 31/01/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 478

Next

Top comments

SimmoRocks 1

Friday 9 September 2011 15:59

Your NECK?

GrammarNaziFTW 0

Friday 9 September 2011 16:04

Yeah because whenever I hit on somebody, my first instinct is to write my number on their neck.

Comments

fearqc 0

Friday 9 September 2011 17:59

Wtf

Kntrymama 8

Friday 9 September 2011 18:02

Sorry OP but youre a loser :(

justanotherrando_fml 2

Friday 9 September 2011 18:03

Kevin! Is that really you? OMG… YDI

TheRealHouse 7

Friday 9 September 2011 18:08

I don't understand all these fmls "I'm so pathetic that I did something pathetic".. No you are pathetic BECAUSE you did something pathetic! Just stop! I'm a 30 yr old red headed scrawny dude with a crappy car and average income and I havnt gotten laid in almost a year so I I know it can be tough to get the attention we desire sometimes, but if you do desperate or pathetic things because of it, YDI!!

Kntrymama 8

Friday 9 September 2011 18:16

#72 fyl xD

sierralovex 0

Friday 9 September 2011 18:27

um, that's more pathetic than having no one hit on you??

ovallegabriel1 0

Friday 9 September 2011 18:30

How is that possible

kareltje 17

Friday 9 September 2011 18:45

And how the hell do you think that makes people think someone hit on you?

Enslaved 36

Friday 9 September 2011 18:54

People probably just thought it was a stupid looking tattoo. I don't understand why people chose that location but to each their own.

Jazzgirl101 12

Friday 9 September 2011 18:55

who writes a number on someones neck? how the hell would you read it?

sara_saturday 5

Friday 9 September 2011 19:13

shoulda drawn an penis on your face and pretended that you were at a party

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The Top

Today, I brought my new boyfriend to dinner with my family. Everything was going smoothly until my dad asked him how long we’d been dating. My boyfriend looked at me, then said, "Uh, I think it's been… four months?" I looked horrified and said, "It's been TWO!" Now I’m wondering if we’re dating or just two confused people stuck in a situationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 509

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 861

You deserved it 1 739

The Top

Today, my three year-old son accidentally spilled strawberry jelly on my husband’s work shirt. My husband threw a huge fit, and went on a huge rant about how he was going to be late for work. He also said, and I quote, “Why couldn’t you just get a fucking abortion?” in front of our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 205

Today, my drunk mom informed me that out of all my potential brothers and sisters she’s swallowed over the years she’s "glad" I’m the one she "accidentally drooled onto her crotch, swam up her fanny and invaded" her "virgin egg." This kind of shit is why I moved out at 16 and still have a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 154

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 835

You deserved it 3 633

Today, after confessing to my 16 year-old sister that I was only into guys younger than me, she said that was OK because she was attracted to guys in their late 40's and that an age gap was not that much of a big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 349

Today, I was hired as an aide to a manager. He only works 2 hours a day, so I only work for 2 hours. The other 8 hours of my day I'm bored because I’m not allowed to go home, watch YouTube, browse Facebook, or read a book, so I just sit at my desk, earning £0.17 over minimum wage, to stare at a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 156

Today, I went to a restaurant to order food with just a $100 bill. They no longer had what I came for, so I left. When I got to my car, I realized - no bill. I went back in for them to say they hadn't seen it, and they wouldn’t check the cameras. I know the lady working there picked it up since I was the only customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 673